


Without Saying So

by knightotter



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, Mild Language, TRK spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6758650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightotter/pseuds/knightotter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-TRK (some spoilers) - 100 ways Adam and Ronan say 'I love you' without saying it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first call came an hour before midnight, shrill and unexpected and echoing through the large and mostly empty house. The name on caller ID flashed once and then stopped so abruptly Ronan scrolled through the call history to verify that yes, he did not imagine it. All he wanted was to shut his eyes for a while, listen to some music, and wait for morning. A few seconds later, the cell phone on the nightstand lit up, vibrating with too much enthusiasm for this late at night. 

Ronan tapped the green button and answered. "Parrish," he said, unable to smother a soft smile.

"I forgot Opal might be sleeping." Adam said. His words slurred with fatigue and his accent, which he didn't bother to hide any longer. College had exposed all kinds of unique accents and Adam was thrilled that the pressure to pretend that he fit in like he had at Aglionby was gone. Even after one year of school, out of state, nearly a three hour drive away, Adam's voice had never been more confident.

"She's camping with Dick and Jane out in the yard." He elbowed the long curtains out of his way and glanced down at the green tent and the circles of flashlights on the fabric from within. He could see hand shadows and outlines of shoulders shaking with giggles and Opal's tiny hands reaching for the stars while Blue braided her hair. "It's just me here."

"Why aren't you camping with them?" Adam chuckled.

"The only tent I could find isn't that big. And she kicks." Ronan huffed and let the curtains fall. He went to the kitchen for a glass of water and dropped down into a stool. "Getting ready for finals?"

Adam made a sound that Ronan could only interpret as meh and said quickly, "I need a favor."

"Shoot." Ronan said without thinking.

"I need you to come get me."

Ronan slipped off the stool and bent over to step into his boots, newly rimmed with puncture wounds from Opal's teeth. One of the laces was missing the tip but Ronan was still able to tie it. "Everything okay?"

Adam sighed. "Yeah. Just the shitbox won't start and I told my boss at the body shop I could come in for a shift tomorrow."

"Shit," Ronan said, pausing to remove his foot from the boot and pull out a handful of bright green leaves from a tree in the backyard. "I thought you quit that one?"

"No, I quit the factory over winter break. I was planning on coming back this weekend anyway because my classes were cancelled tomorrow. I was going to surprise you." Adam trailed off. Ronan could hear his fingers drumming on his desk hundreds of miles away.

"Dammit then." Ronan smirked, glad that Opal already had babysitters. "Give me a couple hours."

"Drive safely." Adam warned, but still sounding relieved. "And thank you."

Ronan hummed in response and picked the keys for the BMW off the hook. He made a small kiss into the receiver and hung up, pocketing his phone. He shrugged on a light jacket and grabbed another flannel blanket from the closet and turned off the kitchen light.

Blue shone her flashlight directly into Ronan's eyes when he unzipped the flap of the tent and poked his head inside. She also had her pocketknife within reach but it wasn't in her hand yet. His eyes burned as he blinked spots away. Gansey had been in the middle of a ghost story about a boy who loved skateboarding and haunted a factory in downtown Henrietta. Opal squealed and scrambled out of Blue's lap and threw her arms around his neck.

"You irrevocably ruined this story." Gansey groaned, rubbing his hands over his nose while Blue shoved him.

"I'm heading up to get Adam." Ronan petted over Opal's hair laced with the tiny purple flowers that grew in big patches in the yard. "We'll be back by morning. The house is unlocked if you need anything." He unfolded the blanket and draped it over Opal's shoulders and kissed her forehead to keep her still enough to cocoon her tightly.

They prepared a small bed between the open and half empty bag of marshmallows and the stuffed animals Opal insisted they bring outside among the sleeping bags and pillows piled so thickly they almost forgot that sleeping outside should have been uncomfortable. Opal curled back up in Blue's lap and Gansey reached out to bump knuckles with Ronan. "We'll see you tomorrow then. Call if there's trouble."

Ronan scoffed. The BMW, as far as he knew, had never broken down. It was the most reliable thing Ronan owned. He ruffled Blue's hair and zipped them back inside.

The drive itself was no trouble. Ronan hummed along to the radio and got through two electronic CDs, fondly tapping out beats to the Murder Squash Song and drowning the boringness of the roads by singing 80s power ballads. 

Adam's campus was nearly as big as Henrietta and Ronan had only been to see it twice - once to help Adam move in, where they'd gotten lost trying to find his dormitory, and another time around Valentine's Day when Adam's roommate took a trip to Minnesota to see his girlfriend and Ronan and Adam played video games and made out until their lips were swollen and hearts were racing and Ronan helped Adam study for a philosophy test and they slept with their arms around each other and woke up warm and often didn't get out of bed until Adam insisted he had to go to class. Ronan knew Adam's room more than he knew the campus.

But he managed to find Adam's building and snuck his way past the half-asleep security guard up to the elevator - stairs were locked to nonresidents. Ignoring the smell of piss and the stain that was once vomit, Ronan got up to the fourth floor and walked down to the end of the hall where Adam's name was written on a piece of paper and taped to the door along with another sheet that said Trent. It was from a get-to-know-everyone program put on by the RA's at the beginning of the year so the new students could meet and introduce themselves. In a way, it had worked because names were exchanged and rooms were labelled and made polite requests between neighbors a bit less awkward.

Ronan tapped a knuckle on the door and it immediately opened. Adam was waiting with his backpack on over a too large Aglionby Tennis sweatshirt and a duffel bag full of dirty laundry. Neither of them could help their ridiculous grins as they hugged too tightly and too long and Adam planted a gentle kiss on Ronan's cheek. Ronan turned and caught Adam's lips briefly until Ronan almost forgot about the drive back to Virginia.

"I parked far away. Do you want me to carry something?"

Adam locked his door and Ronan hooked his arm around Adam's waist as they walked back to the elevator. "It's not heavy. I'm stronger than I look. Just tired" Adam replied, still leaning into Ronan's side. His eyelids languidly dropped instead of his usual attentive look, but when he caught Ronan's gaze, he still smiled. "Sorry you had to come all this way so late."

It was late. Ronan suspected Adam had stayed awake the entire time waiting and packing, even if he was only coming home for a few days. Adam didn't return to Virginia very often because the shitbox was not well equipped to handle distances over twenty miles at above residential speed limits.

"It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway." Ronan mumbled. 

It had been two nights since he'd last slept and that was more like a nap on a rainy afternoon with Opal tucked under an afghan Aurora knitted long ago on his chest. He'd dreamt of the comatose cows dotting the fields blinking awake and herding them into the barns where they once lived - more memory than dream. Ronan took Opal through the muddy fields the next day and let her climb over the big stones and run her fingers through the cows' soft fur.

Once unloaded, Adam stretched in the passenger seat and brought his legs up to his chest. The radio kept playing since Adam had silently rejected the electronica by taking the CD out while Ronan was packing his bags into the trunk. Ronan didn't talk and Adam quickly fell asleep with his arms hugged around himself. Every few miles, Ronan glanced over in the light from dashboard, imagining the slope of Adam's forehead and nose, the soft flutter of eyelashes, a warm blush coloring his face and neck like he always got when Ronan kissed him.

An hour into the drive, when Adam rubbed the indent of the window out of his forehead, he said, "Do you want me to drive the rest? Because I will."

"No." Ronan frowned, keeping his eyes forward, allowing Adam to tug his hand off the wheel. "I'm good." 

Despite his words, he swallowed hard when Adam kissed his knuckles and almost slammed on the brakes. It had been a few months since he'd felt Adam's weight on top of him, felt wandering hands under his shirt and unintentional gasps when his teeth grazed over sensitive skin.

"Ronan, I'm serious." Adam said, resting his palm on Ronan's elbow. "Pull over. Let me drive for a while."

The car slowed a bit, the orange speedometer creeping down into the legal range. Adam's fingers tightened and when Ronan drifted onto the side of the road, Adam leaned over and pressed a kiss to Ronan's shoulder.

Ronan got out and walked around the car, kicking the tires as he did so just to be sure they weren't getting low, and still found Adam in the passenger seat. He was rubbing his eyes and slipping his feet back into his shoes. Ronan sat on the edge of the seat and bumped his forehead into Adam's. The cool air was drawing bumps on his arms but Adam's breath on his face was warm and Ronan flushed with the attention. 

"I missed you." Ronan said before Adam pecked his cheek and scooted over across the console. After some adjusting of mirrors, they were off again.

Adam talked about his classes and his finals coming up soon and his roommate. 

Trent, the roommate by a random assignment, was a tennis player and studying management and economics. According to Adam, he snored and sometimes cried when he was drunk because he missed his girlfriend and called his parents without fail every weekend, Sunday at 11 AM. They got along well enough, didn't fight about serious issues, and went their own ways on nights out. Trent liked to party and flirt with anyone who was remotely attractive while Adam sometimes stared for abnormally long periods of time at a blurry picture on his phone of Ronan smirking with Chainsaw balanced on his leg. Adam still didn't drink and occasionally had to pick Trent up from bars advertising cheap beer with neon signs at ungodly hours in the shitbox because Trent was too intoxicated to drive.

On those nights, Adam hung out with some of the guys he'd met through classes and played video games and talked about movies and played touch football in the field until it was too dark to see. Other times, when Adam was feeling less social, he wrapped himself in a blanket and laid on his bed making necessary phone calls to Gansey, Blue, and Henry about their nearly constant and spontaneous road trips and saved the later, longer calls for Ronan. More than once, Adam had fallen asleep to Ronan reliving his and Opal's adventures rebuilding the farm. 

Classes, he said, were easy compared to Aglionby. He still studied religiously and found enough time to take a tutoring job at a local middle school helping with biology and math. He was thinking about majoring in biology or pre-law. Both perhaps, if he could organize his schedule properly.

Ronan tilted his head, sticking a fingertip into a hole on his knee. "Wait, why are you tutoring? I thought you got a shitload of scholarships."

"I did," Adam bit his lip. "I'm not paying anything to go to school, I just want to have backups. And I like tutoring."

"But you don't have to work at all. You've already done that for four fucking years."

Adam's mouth closed and his brows wrinkled. "I'm not quitting if that's what you're going for. I want to have savings in case something happens."

"Something like what?" Ronan crossed his arms and scratched at his inner elbow sharply enough to leave indents. His foot had started jiggling and he planted it firmly on the floor.

"Accidents happen, Ronan." Adam said softly. His hands kneaded the steering wheel and a moment of silence chastened Ronan. "I only have ten hours a week. It's my only job at school. I'm not overworking myself."

"How much are you sleeping?"

Adam quirked a tiny smile. "Eight hours. Nine on weekends." He reached over and rubbed the back of Ronan's neck. "How much are you sleeping?"

Ronan let out his breath through his nose and dropped his chin to his chest. "Not fair." Ronan said in response to Adam's question and his hand.

"How much?"

"I don't like dreaming without Cabeswater." He admitted, shrugging Adam away. 

Adam understood. Before Gansey's resurrection, Adam hadn't realized how much Cabeswater had supported him - calmed his anxiety, settled his heart, and allowed him to be - until it was gone. Sometimes, he felt a beat in the back of his mind and Adam's breath would catch for a second. This was how he knew that Cabeswater was gone, yes, but not dead. No matter its location or state, it was not strong enough to give the graywaren his gifts back. Ronan was deemed an ordinary dreamer. For the time being.

They crossed the state line and even though Adam obeyed the speed limit, the rest of the drive was completed in an unpressing silence. He knew the way to the Barns from memory and parked on the driveway where Niall had been killed several years ago. Now there were flowers in the yard, paths of flattened grass where Ronan and Opal walked every day, an orange Camaro not too far away, and a yellow light still on in the upstairs bedroom. 

Flashlights in the tent were switched off and Gansey's ghost storytelling was long over and birds were just beginning to chirp the sun awake. It was still dark though, and Adam looked at his watch to calculate how much sleep he could get before he had to leave. Adam refused to let Ronan carry his bags in but he conceded that he wouldn't begin laundry until the morning - after he'd rested. The shift he agreed to work began at noon, and he promised Ronan he'd be back by dinner.

Adam dropped his duffel bag in the laundry room and followed Ronan upstairs, pausing to take off his shoes at the door. Ronan stripped out of his jacket, shirt, and pants and sat on the edge of the bed. He stuck his feet under a blanket and switched off the light just as Adam's body sighed into the mattress. 

Fragile was the word Ronan thought as Adam rolled to his side and matched his shape into Ronan's like nestled spoons. He'd only stepped out of his jeans and shoes for the night and pulled up the blanket around them both. After a moment, Adam blindly reached behind him to grab Ronan's arm over his side. He clutched it to his chest and Ronan flattened his palm. 

Adam whispered, "You're using my pillow."

There was no shortage of pillows on the bed, but the one in front - the one Adam had worn countless dreams into, that smelled both musty and clean since Ronan recently washed sheets - was the one supporting both of their necks. When Adam unofficially moved into the Barns, Ronan insisted they go get new sheets and new pillows because sleeping on the same décor as Niall and Aurora slept was weird enough. They brought Opal with them to the home store and she had quickly torn into the softest and fluffiest pillow she found, and while Ronan flagged down a worker to pay for her taste, Adam picked another one up, stuffed it under his arm out of Opal's reach, and asked Ronan to pay for two.

Ronan inhaled, stretching his free arm under his ear, tempted to kiss the bottom of Adam's hairline. He did because he could and then said, "It reminded me of you."

"You sleep with it?"

"You didn't take it, what else am I supposed to do with it?"

Adam closed his eyes, content. "Nothing." He pulled the sheet and Ronan's arm tighter around him and Ronan flexed in a reassuring squeeze. "Good night."


	2. Chapter 2

The end of the school year was quickly coming to an end and Ronan could not wait. He'd never been one to put up with anticipation and knowing that Adam would be coming home with him in a matter of days was enough to make Ronan's hands shake. That and it was unseasonably cold. Ronan didn't mind the coolness of spring so much as he did when Opal put her small hands on his neck, seeking heat. In the months since Adam's last trip home, Ronan had dug through an entire barn of stuff Niall had dreamed and found Opal a pair of small mittens and a thick wool hat to fit over her wild blonde hair. It didn't stop her from snuggling into his chest at night, curling in on herself in his arms. 

She was reluctant to go to 300 Fox Way at first. She dug her fingers into the waistband of Ronan's pants and nearly pulled them down in protest when he urged her to take Maura's waiting hand. As soon as she saw Calla chasing a cat down the hall, she was detached and running after Calla. Ronan thanked Maura in advance and glared at a shadow behind her that was Mr. Gray.

Opal screamed in delight when Chainsaw flapped in, much to Maura's dismay. She crossed her arms while Ronan's smile faded. "I'm not taking the bird too."

"The bird has a name, you know."

"I'm not taking the bird."

Ronan huffed and called out sharply, "Chainsaw." And she came back, landing on his shoulder. She made a small sound and butted her head into Ronan's ear. "She just needs to be let out twice a day."

"I'm not taking the bird." Maura said again. 

"Opal likes the bird." He bargained, but Maura wasn't having any of it. The bag in his trunk with three days' worth of clothes was waiting and he wasn't in a bad enough mood to argue. "Fine. Bedtime is 9."

"Bedtimes are irrelevant. This is a vacation for her." Maura 

"Every fucking day is a vacation for her. She sees a cow and it's like Christmas. And don't let her eat rocks. Or bugs."

Maura all but slammed the door in his face when he got into the list of the stranger things he's caught her trying to eat. He wrote down a few of the more concerning items and slipped the sheet of paper under the door just in case. If she wasn't watched carefully, she'd eat anything - a trait getting worse since he'd tried to introduce her to vegetables a few weeks ago. 

Chainsaw clucked softly and flew to the roof of the BMW. She followed Ronan down the highway and he pulled over for a minute to let her catch up and land in the passenger seat where she rode the rest of the way.

Adam was not pleased to see that Chainsaw was along for the visit and he insisted on putting down newspapers in a corner, to which Ronan replied, "She's not a fucking dog, she doesn't care what toilet training is."

They went to Adam's cafeteria for dinner and nearly everyone who knew Adam found an excuse to introduce themselves to Ronan. He shook no hands and gave no smiles except to a girl from Adam's psychology class who not only looked a bit like Opal but said she lived on a farm. At their table in the corner, as far out of the way as they could get, they were not left alone. Adam apologized and danced his fingertips onto Ronan's knee under the table while they ate ice cream and politely ignored the rest of Adam's acquaintances whispering and pointing subtly to Ronan. Thank goodness he hadn't brought Chainsaw to dinner.

Adam took a phone call as Ronan stacked his dishes and carried them to the conveyor belt back into the dish room. After declining an offer to model for a personal sketch for a senior project because "his facial structure is just magnificent," Ronan came back to find Adam explaining to the roommate how to move Chainsaw without making her angry. Trent gave up and said he'd meet Adam at the library in an hour.

The cafeteria was less than a ten minute walk from Adam's dorm. Adam squeezed their hands together and they both hurried back for a precious few minutes alone. They kicked off their shoes and fell together on the bed, hands wandering without boundary, slipping off shirts and curving around ribs. An alarm went off on Adam's phone and Ronan groaned, swearing, as Adam's hand slipped out of his pants. As soon as Adam was off, Chainsaw flew over and dug her claws into Ronan's wrist. She pecked at his bracelets and he brushed the feathers at her neck.

"You don't have to come with me." Adam said, tapping his phone to stop the ringing.

Ronan, still catching his breath, threw his arm over his eyes. "I'm coming. Might be a bit slow walking, but I'll be there." He left no room for doubt. Adam rolled his eyes and threw a balled up t-shirt at him. 

"I'm not going to be fun." Adam packed every textbook he owned into his bag, prepared to go to the library like he had every night the past week. He tossed a few useless pens on the floor for Chainsaw to investigate.

"I'll help you study." Ronan grinned, rolling over to grab his discarded shirt

"Are you an expert in sociology? Because I need you to be if you're going to help me." Adam zipped his bag and flung it around his shoulder. His forehead creased with worry and he sighed. "Sorry."

Ronan lifted an eyebrow. "Do you need a hug?"

"I'm stressed." Adam mumbled as Ronan wrapped him tight and held him close. Ronan's fingers drifted through Adam's hair and he pressed a sweet kiss into Adam's head. "In three days, I'll be done."

"And we're going to celebrate, right?"

"That wasn't just celebrating?" Adam waved the rumpled sheets on his bed.

"Hell no. That was stress relief and it sucked. Didn't even get off."

Adam let his hand drift around the band at Ronan's waist. His nails grazed over the edges of the tattoo and he felt Ronan tense and loosen his grip. "We'll celebrate again. For real. In three days," that accent fell out of his teeth and if Ronan hadn't been swooning hard enough, he would have fallen over when Adam whispered something particularly filthy and skipped off, leaving Ronan blushing alone in his bedroom.

It was only two trips down to the BMW and wandering the parking lot looking for the multi-colored Hondayota to put in the last crate of hand towels, dish soap, and a small potted plant that was still blooming. Cabeswater may have been gone, but Adam still could command a garden to treat him like he was sunshine, air, and rain, all wrapped up in one human-shaped body with soft freckles and beautiful hands. All that was left in Adam's room was the set of blankets currently on his bed, a few stray pens, and some toiletry items at his sink. Everything else was Trent's.

Ronan picked up coffee from a shop across the street from the library and wandered around the crammed tables until he recognized Adam's favorite but now fraying messenger bag. He set down the cup he intended for Adam and finally recognized Trent sitting diagonally across from Adam with a thick textbook and a blank page of notes. Ronan's eyebrows dropped down into an unfriendly glare and Trent turned his head away. The roommate needed a comb or a hat or a pair of scissors to fix his hair that was dark and knotted and too long for Ronan's taste.

Adam picked up the coffee, took a drink, and reached for his wallet. He always insisted on paying for half no matter where they went, allowing Ronan to treat him only on his birthday or when he didn't know it was Ronan.

Dropping into the empty chair next to Adam, across from Trent, Ronan slapped Adam's offering away. "No."

"Ronan," Adam hissed, because it was a library and he wasn't disrespectful. Trent's forehead lifted curiously but he didn't say anything. "Take it."

"No, no. It's my treat. You're studying and probably going to be up late." Ronan's smile would have been threatening if Adam didn't know that it actually meant 'you don't want to start this fight.' "It's two sugars, right?"

Adam twirled his pen through his fingers and looked back to his book. Ronan couldn't see, but he knew Adam was rolling his eyes. Adam took his coffee black and they both knew it - the drink Ronan had brought was strong and caffeinated and un-sugared, the way he liked it. Putting away his wallet with a frown, Adam thanked Ronan quietly.

While the students did their work and made flashcards and read study guides, Ronan glared holes into Trent's forehead. Trent hadn't been unpleasant, but it was clear he wasn't expecting Ronan to be so Ronan-like, with a sharp, dangerous grin, tattooed, and incredibly in love. All Adam had really divulged was that Ronan lived on a farm, had two brothers, and had a pet bird named Chainsaw.

The boyfriend Trent pictured was blond and wore overalls and lots of plaid, had a pet chicken, and was tan. The first time they met, Trent thought Adam was cheating and tried to guilt him by saying, "What about Ronan?" and Ronan promptly replied, "Who the fuck do you think I am?" 

Ronan stayed quiet while they studied and occupied his time by tapping out emails on his phone, taking selfies for Blue and Gansey and Henry, taking subtle pictures of Adam, listening to music from his wireless headphones, and doodling on a sheet of paper Adam had generously torn from his notebook and thrust into Ronan's hands when he was drumming his fingers too loudly. Ronan liked to draw. He'd been planning more tattoos for his arms but couldn't settle on a design. Opal liked to draw too - the fridge back at the Barns was covered with her art, held up by little magnets that glowed in the dark and made funny sounds when you pushed on them.

At the top of the third hour, Ronan went for a walk around campus, promising Adam he wouldn't start any fights. And Chainsaw needed to be let out. Adam donated his room key and Ronan nearly got lost after finding the second set of tennis courts and the third cafeteria. He wandered past study groups outside and the track team still practicing and a tent set up with free snacks and ice cream. Ronan put Chainsaw down and picked up a big bag of pretzels. Eventually he found Adam's dorm again and dropped off Chainsaw and made his way back to the library.

Trent was just packing up, huffing now and then, asking Adam quietly if Ronan was spending the night.

Adam forgot he lent his watch to Opal before he left and scratched at his empty wrist. He had a finger marking the page he had to read to and wanted to throw the book at the wall. "I think he is."

"No sex while I'm here."

"We won't." Adam assured him. "I'm going to be here all night and he doesn't like it without me." Trent's jaw dropped and Adam laughed. "I'm kidding. We won't."

Trent nodded, closing his mouth firmly. "Don't stay up too late. What time's your final?"

"Nine."

"Get to bed before two and you'll be fine."

Ronan arrived back and saw Trent's empty chair. "You leaving?"

Trent left without a response and Ronan smiled across the table at Adam. He received several texts from the women of Fox Way accounting for Opal's behavior and a list of the things she tried to eat, among them, buttered carrots and a ripped t-shirt that once belonged to Blue. Ronan swore. He tried to get her to eat carrots once and it resulted in a food fight and them raiding the cupboards and giving all the food she deemed gross to Gansey. The texts promised she'd be fine for as long as Ronan needed to stay. 

"Are you going to stay the night?"

"If you want me to."

Adam reached across the table and Ronan bent forward so Adam's fingers landed in his short hair. He stroked over it a few times and curled his hand around Ronan's ear. "Stay over."

Ronan snatched Adam's wrist and held tight when Adam tried to pull back. He pressed an open mouth kiss to Adam's palm and when Adam rolled his eyes again, Ronan licked his palm. His blue eyes blinked intensely and he nearly sucked a finger into his mouth but Adam's palm was sweaty with nerves and they were in public.

"I take it back." Adam laughed and wiped his palm on his pants. "At least stay until tomorrow. My finals after that are easy and I'll be home for dinner on Thursday."

This was enough. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Anything."

When they had dinner together, Adam ate nearly everything that Opal didn't because Adam was certain he couldn't digest the glass plates. Since high school, Adam had proudly gained weight and sometimes worked out with Ronan in one of the Barns that was full of exercise equipment and rusted farm machinery useless to everyone except Ronan who used them as weights. Ronan made a swing from a few boards and a rope in good condition and hung it from the rafters so Opal could watch and play.

"We could have chicken. I started building a coop a few days ago. Shit, last time, Opal got sick."

"No chicken then." Adam said, lowering his voice when a fellow student at a neighboring table sent a harsh glare. "Well, what do you want to do?"

"Is your ass an option?" Ronan smirked and dodged the eraser Adam threw at him.

Adam still blushed and brought his book to his lap. "Not for dinner." He turned his bad ear to Ronan which effectively shut Ronan up. When he looked up at the end of his paragraph, Ronan was still watching him, a lazy smile playing at his mouth. 

They packed up after only another hour. Adam slept soundly, Ronan didn't, and Trent snored through the entire night. Adam took his final and came back to find Ronan sitting on a bench outside at the center of a crowd of students. They were taking turns petting Chainsaw and feeding her leftover pieces of sandwiches and chips. Adam waited his turn and took the seat next to Ronan, on his left so he could hear, allowing Chainsaw to step onto his shoulder. Ronan kissed him quickly and asked how the last exam went.

Adam shrugged, slyly biting his lip, allowing just a sliver of teeth to show and slapped Ronan's leg with an essay marked with a dark blue pen: A+.


	3. Chapter 3

Domestic life suited them unspeakably well. From their breakfast outside on the porch to their chores of checking the animals and looking after the rest of the grounds to lunch, to playing tag in the yard, to napping in the afternoon sun, and cooking dinner, sometimes hosting friends, sometimes just the three of them. On rainy days, they built forts in the living room and watched TV and chewed on boards and jumped in puddles and wrapped up in blankets. 

Adam worked four days a week at the mechanic's and kept his weekends free. One afternoon a week, he went to his former elementary school and helped a small group of kids with remedial math. As much as they didn't want to be inside on a summer day, Adam was efficient in instruction and patient in his guidance. For all the work he'd done through high school, he'd never felt the same gratification as he did when helping kids learn. Today, he was at the mechanic's and hungry and ready for come home.

The smell coming from the kitchen would have been appetizing if Ronan had actually set a timer and paid attention to it. His meal was herbal and smoky until it was burnt and smoky. The first sign was Adam wrinkling his nose as he came in the door - the second was Opal coughing - the third was a distinct waft of flame that had Ronan flying off the couch toward the oven. The dials were off and Ronan crouched in front of the little window. 

Adam bent over and flattened his palm over the swell of Ronan's butt, pressing a wet kiss into his neck. Ronan rolled his shoulder and slapped an oven mitt on Adam's socked foot. 

"Not now." Ronan said sharply.

"Damn. I was hoping for a quickie." Adam straightened up and brushed his hand across Ronan's bristly hair.

"You can wait. And Opal hasn't eaten yet." Ronan blinked away and pulled out the pan that was steaming and pungent.

Adam reached for an apple in the basket in the window and turned it over a few times, inspecting the pan Ronan was now poking at with his littlest finger. "You're not going to give her that, right?"

"You might like this. It's burnt and will soon be cold. Like your heart." Ronan pitched his oven mitt at the wall. "Fuck."

Opal bounded into the kitchen with a sock in her mouth. "Cena?"

Adam, who remembered enough Latin to know she was asking for dinner, traded her the apple for his sock. He started a frozen dinner in the microwave while Ronan swore and stabbed a fork into the pan. "What exactly was it supposed to be?"

Ronan glared.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Adam laughed and allowed Opal to grab onto his leg and nibble on the apple.

"Yes you did. You can't cook for us all the time. Fuck. I worked hard on this." He flipped the pan and whatever was inside released another smelly waft. 

Adam stepped closer. "I'm sure it's ok. Lasagna? Get out a plate, I'll eat it."

The plate Ronan got was one Matthew had scribbled on long ago with permanent markers and had never washed off. All of the Lynch brothers had a collection of dishes they'd claimed as their own with markers and scratches. Opal liked to use Ronan's and added to his childish artwork with her own.

Adam picked a fork and ate a bite of blackened cheese. He masked his distaste before Ronan could see it and ate more. He forgot his lunch on the counter that morning and no one answered the house phone when he called, so he was stuck with gathering the change in his pockets for a bag of chips from the vending machine in the main office. 

From too many years of insufficient food, Adam's stomach could handle a lot of questionable things, a useful trait in these early days of summer when Ronan vowed to become a better cook. Adam, incredibly, had inherited some culinary skill and was able to decently prepare meals within minutes and somehow convince Opal to eat her fruits and vegetables without her throwing a tantrum.

Ronan set up Opal with her dinner and watched the column Adam's throat. "You're not dead yet, so it must not be too bad." He joked without the proper tone.

Stabbing another steaming piece, Adam lifted his fork. "It's really not. Try some."

In a smooth and slightly suggestive move, Ronan closed his mouth over Adam's fork. The cheese was burnt and the meats were too dry and not seasoned well enough, despite Ronan carefully measuring herbs from the rack of shakers in the cabinet. 

At one time, Niall had hundreds of jars of spices and dried flowers and when any of his boys or Aurora wasn't feeling up to par, he would pick and choose a few and tie a calculated combination into a small bag as a form of aromatherapy. To the day, the smell of dried lavender could stop Ronan in his tracks and induce him to take a long breath. Declan's favorite was burnt cinnamon; Matthew's, vanilla.

This food would not have the same effect. Adam's fair eyebrows were arched expectantly while Ronan ate. He helped Opal with her own dinner, not pressuring Ronan to keep eating. He did anyway and Adam got another plate.

"I told you it wasn't bad."

"Shut up." Ronan grumbled and Adam grinned.

Gansey called an hour later and Adam took the phone into the main bedroom so he wouldn't disturb Opal's coloring. She loved the markers Niall had dreamt years ago that changed colors at a thought to any color imaginable except green. Ronan was doodling with her on the floor in the living room, both laying on their stomachs. Opal hummed to herself and Ronan was transfixed watching her small hand weave across the page until she was satisfied and then reached for a blank sheet from a stack on the coffee table.

She was singing a nursery rhyme Ronan used to know in a language Ronan didn't understand when Adam came back. He'd changed from his greasy jeans and t-shirt into a warm pair of flannel pants and a clean shirt from the Grand Canyon that Blue had given him a few months ago. Apparently Gansey didn't have much to say other than that he, Blue, and Henry were planning a trip to Madagascar in the fall. They'd just gotten back from Canada and Gansey was staying at his parents' home for a few weeks. Despite Adam convincing Ronan to go back to Aglionby for one more semester, Ronan didn't meet the grade criteria to earn his diploma and Monmouth Manufacturing was lost. Gansey didn't seem too broken up about it as he decided he had too much clutter there anyway.

Everything Glendower related was neatly packed into boxes thanks to Adam and Blue's diligent weekends and stored in a barn on Ronan's property far away from where it would be seen anytime soon. The summer of Glendower made for a good story, but some of those memories hurt.

Cabeswater was weak. Blue knew it. Adam knew it. Ronan knew it. 

When Ronan dreamed, it was two dimensional and bleary. He couldn't touch anything, couldn't sense anything - he was a casual observer on a blank canvas without any tools to make something. It was boring and Ronan woke more tired than he began.

When Adam meditated, when he had a few minutes at work to spare or had a cup of coffee in the early morning before Ronan crawled out of bed, he felt a little off balance. Cabeswater had once steadied him and now that he was his body's own master again, it was unusual. 

_I will be your hands. I will be your eyes. ___

__Adam sometimes found himself looking in the mirror, trying to see Cabeswater's presence. It never worked. He only saw his own face, less tired than previous years, more alert, but no less Adam Parrish._ _

__Ronan put down his marker and rolled onto his side, pillowing his head on his arm and a balled up sweater he'd never worn. His tank drifted down his back a little further, allowing the sneaking edges of his tattoo to creep out._ _

__Opal, whenever she saw it, was mystified by the tattoo. One afternoon when Ronan unintentionally napped, she sat on his legs and pointed to the pictures on his back and tried to teach Adam words of the dream language only she knew. It wasn't successful, but she liked tracing the design._ _

__Adam did too, but with his mouth._ _

__"Adam?" She looked up and blinked at him. "Can we read?"_ _

__"You need a bath first."_ _

__"Bath, then read?"_ _

__"Yes. Do you need help?"_ _

__She wriggled up to her knees and recapped her marker. "No."_ _

__When she stomped up the stairs, Adam put his hand on Ronan's shoulder. "She does know how to run a bath, right?"_ _

__Ronan made an affirmative sound._ _

__While they waited, both listening carefully for any distressed or unusual noises, Adam rubbed Ronan's back and told him about work. Ronan then traded his stories of Opal both finding and catching a rat out in the field while Ronan was shoveling pools of swampy black goo into a huge bucket. Since the demon, a lot of Ronan's daytime activity was patrolling the grounds and repairing whatever damage he could find. A lot of it was sinkholes of tar in the fields, broken things in the Barns, and not sleeping, but actually dead cows, torn apart from the inside out._ _

__Opal finished her bath and returned to the living room where Adam was waiting with her book. Her hair was wet and tangled and she'd managed to dress in a large t-shirt that draped down to her knees. She crawled under Adam's arm and Ronan flopped onto his other side so he could watch Opal grab onto Adam's wrist, molding her small hand over his, following the large print words with their pointer fingers. Adam read slowly, enunciating each word properly like was reading a radio script._ _

__Adam had gone to a professor at his college who was a certified expert in early childhood education and had lengthy conversations about how to go about teaching a child to read who was very far behind a typical peer. He returned to the Barns with a list of books for him and Ronan to read about mental development and parenting and books for Opal to practice with. Ronan, one Saturday, took Opal to a dusty book store and nearly cleaned out the section of children's books. For not having any formal education, she picked up very quickly on letter recognition and handwriting. They'd been reading through chapter books for third graders for months now. Ronan wasn't as good as Adam, but he tried to get through a chapter of a book each night. Sometimes he forgot, and sometimes she was too tired to concentrate._ _

__Soon Adam's voice quieted and Opal read out loud softly. At the end of each paragraph, Adam asked a question about what just happened in the story to make sure she was understanding and not just reciting words. But when she yawned for the second time, Adam picked up for her and finished the end of the chapter._ _

__"One more chapter." Ronan said, still from the floor._ _

__Adam turned his head. "She's sleeping." Opal's head had lolled to the side and her hand was limp on Adam's arm._ _

__"One more."_ _

__"I don't want to put you to sleep too." Adam reopened the book to where his thumb had kept his place._ _

__Ronan winked and licked his teeth the next time Adam glanced down at him and then chuckled because he couldn't resist when Adam rolled his eyes. "You don't have to. I'll carry her up."_ _

__"Your kink for me talking is getting a little weird." Adam said as Ronan laughed._ _

__Ronan scooped Opal up under her legs and around her back, waiting for Adam to turn off the lights and lock the front door before heading for the stairs._ _

__"Watch your step." Adam cautioned as Ronan turned the corner at the top of the stairs where he knew Opal had left one of her stuffed animals._ _

__They each avoided the large elephant with a tear on its ear and went into Opal's room. Adam picked it up and lifted her sheets and Ronan set her down._ _

__Opal's room used to be Ronan's. The summer before Adam left for college, they did a cosmetic overhaul, painting the blue walls with friendlier and brighter greens and yellows more reminiscent of the forest scene she was taken from. They moved nearly everything of Ronan's into the master bedroom, leaving lots of floor space for the strange dreamed toys she loved and her chewable things she'd collected from everywhere. She was adjusting to a more regular sleep schedule though she preferred to sleep between Ronan and Adam. If they tucked her in tight enough and warm enough, she slept through the entire night in her room until the smell of Adam's pancakes or scrambled eggs in the morning roused her. On hot nights of summer, they all shared the surface of the large bed, not touching at all, sweating despite keeping the ceiling fan on its highest setting._ _

__Opal stirred a little and allowed Ronan to loosely comb through her hair with his fingers while Adam sat on the edge of her bed and enclosed her under the covers. They both kissed her forehead and whispered good nights and partly closed her door._ _

__Adam grabbed Ronan's hand and kissed his knuckles, pulling him to their bedroom. They ignored the puddle of water on the bathroom floor and the used towel hastily dropped and Chainsaw pecking at something or other in Declan's room. Ronan held Adam tight, mouthing at his naked chest, working a hand under his pants until Adam came apart with a choked swear and a lazy smile._ _

__Ronan wasn't interested in getting himself off, claiming he was fine, but he let Adam rub at the knots in his back and neck in exchange._ _

__"Your dinner really was good." Adam whispered as Ronan's muscles relaxed and his breath came slower and slower._ _

__"You don't have to lie."_ _

__"I'm not. But next time set a timer."_ _

__"Thanks, Gansey."_ _

__Adam breathed a laugh into Ronan's neck, snuggling closer. "You will not say his name when I am not wearing pants. My god."_ _

__Ronan adjusted his pillow and kicked off a blanket he thought he'd want. As Adam's arm slipped across his stomach, his eyelids dropped. "Go to sleep, loser."_ _


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone at the Barns needed a haircut. Especially Opal. As much as she liked chewing on her own hair when she was nervous or hungry enough, Adam declared he was spending too much time picking out leaves and burrs and fuzz even after her bath. And Adam could now comfortably grasp a handful of Ronan's thick, dark hair, a fact which Ronan appreciated on occasion but mostly hated because if Adam could grab it, so could Henry. If Adam could grab it, Blue could sneak colorful barrettes on without him noticing. Gansey, thankfully, knew better than to poke at a snake.

300 Fox Way was hosting a bonfire in the backyard. Big blankets were thrown across the grass at the base of the large tree and hamburgers and hot dogs were grilled and covered in ketchup and cheeses. Horseshoe was played, drinks were passed around, stories were traded. Laughter was nearly constant in some volume or other from the ring of chairs around the fire to the warm kitchen to the phone/sewing/cat room where Adam was sitting on the floor across from Maura.

They had an arrangement of tarot cards between their crossed legs. Maura was pointing to a few of them, touching them lightly. Adam was watching, shuffling the rest of the cards. He flipped over three more and created a triangle with them. 

It had been well over a month since he last scryed and it was without success. He closed himself in the bathroom while Ronan was outside digging in the garden with Opal and plugged the sink and stared at his reflection, trying to see beyond it until Ronan pried the door open carrying a mud-covered child. Ronan paused, his brows drawing into a flat line, a corner of his mouth twitching. But he didn't say anything about it though Adam could see his reservations - he only asked if Adam needed another minute. Adam shortly gave up and allowed them to have the bathroom.

"What's going on in here?" Ronan asked from the doorway.

Both Adam and Maura looked up at him, noting the shiny clips in his hair and his jacket he slipped over his shoulders with punctures the same size and shape as Opal's teeth. In general, Ronan wasn't fond of the psychic things. His Catholic heritage predisposed him for doubt. He allowed it though because he was too involved with the psychics for him to dismiss their abilities so easily. And it made Adam happy.

"Just reviewing some things." Maura said calmly. "Blue should have the scissors."

"She's not getting near my hair with scissors."

Adam covered a small laugh. "For Opal. You need a razor." He reached out and Ronan grasped his hand, pulling him to his feet. Adam's fingers plucked a yellow barrette from Ronan's hair while Ronan swore and felt for the others, tugging them out.

"Henry made a pie earlier." Adam perked up and Ronan shrugged a shoulder in a vague direction because he was a bit turned around in the house. "I saved a piece for you. If Opal didn't get it."

"You're the best. And thank you, Maura." Adam nodded and accepted the deck of cards. She had banded them together and encouraged them to find the rest of the pie - none of Henry's food lasted long in the house.

A few minutes later, Adam had eaten his pie. Ronan was seated on the ground outside between Blue's legs. Two of Ronan's fingers were held tightly by Opal, who was sitting in Maura's lap, flinching at each snap of the scissors. Her blonde hair had been brushed and combed as well as could be expected and was being shorn to a length just over her bony shoulders. When her hair was even, Blue tugged Ronan back and switched on the electric razor attached to an unreasonably long extension cord that Ronan just happened to have in the trunk of the BMW. 

Gansey offered to cut Adam's hair, but Adam opted for Maura instead. While Ronan's hair was buzzed away, Adam's was trimmed off his ears and forehead, Henry and Opal played tag and Calla yelled at the cat and Mr. Gray had distracted Gansey with talk of old English poetry.

It was a beautiful night that felt more like a reunion than anything else. It had been too long since they were all together and all happy and alive. The fire was poked and bolstered with twigs Opal had picked up in the yard. Adam helped her spear a marshmallow and roast it when the sun was setting and the wind was chillier. He draped a jacket over her shoulders when her goosebumps wouldn't go away and she crawled into Ronan's lap.

"Stop, you two are precious." Blue fawned and took a photo on her cell phone Gansey had gotten her last Christmas. Half the pictures on it were of Opal, the other half were of the boys and beautiful shots of sunrises and sunsets and flowers.

Ronan ignored her and tipped his head to Adam. "I put my coat back in the car."

"I'm fine." Adam said, still standing.

"Adam, take my jacket. It's cold outside."

Adam sneakily tucked his hand into Ronan's pocket and grabbed the keys and retrieving the jacket anyway.

The adults had retreated inside at the sign of cold and soon only five chairs remained around the fire. It was as if no time had passed and they were still in high school despite two of them acquiring a child and three of them having no regular sleep schedule due to constant travel across time zones. According to Blue, Gansey could sleep but didn't like to and Ronan felt a sense of nostalgia for long nights of insomnia with his best friend at Monmouth, building that ridiculous model of Henrietta. Only Adam and Henry didn't seem to have trouble quieting their mind at night. Killing Gansey had done quite a number on Blue's mental faculties - it was no surprise she was constantly checking on him, listening for his collected voice, his quiet laugh.

They called it a night as soon as Opal nearly rolled off of Ronan's legs and landed on the ground. He hauled her up onto his hip and hugs were exchanged and promises to get together again before Adam's birthday.

Adam drove them back to the Barns, noting absently that he wanted to look at the engine in the morning. Opal was tucked into bed and Adam flicked on the TV. Sometimes when they weren't tired enough to sleep but not awake enough for actual activity, they would watch the local news or a sitcom with bad acting or what Ronan called the aquarium channel where the TV looked as if it housed actual fish because that was the way Niall had dreamed it. 

"What do you want to watch?" Adam asked while Ronan washed his hands and ducked his head under the sink to rinse off the stray hairs still sticking to his neck.

He toweled off with his tank top and said, "Whatever you want."

Tonight, Adam chose a sitcom, the kind that was only funny when they were tired, and Ronan wrapped himself around Adam as close as he could. They chuckled at the jokes and Adam kissed Ronan's forehead and Ronan danced his fingers up and down Adam's arm.

Opal poked them awake in the morning requesting pancakes. She, after dressing herself in a hand-dyed skirt Blue had generously donated, had picked a handful of blueberries from one of the shrubs just off the back deck and had them in her palms, dripping with crushed juice. The corners of her mouth were stained a light purple. Ronan and Adam quickly untangled themselves, hoping she was still innocent enough to not notice where their hands had been.

The self-heating skillet was prepared, batter stirred, and blueberries crushed. After taking a spoonful of raw pancake, Ronan went outside. The front yard was no longer dewy, as Ronan's boots were still dry when he made it over to the riding lawnmower in the closest barn. At one point, it doubled as a garage when Niall had started dreaming cars for his sons. Now it was for useful equipment for maintenance and spare car parts that Adam kept neatly organized at his worktable in one corner.

Ronan put on his headphones and with a thought pushed the volume up to block every thought other than this grass is itchy and too damn long. Mowing the entire grounds would take three days - Ronan knew because he'd had to do it hundreds of times. More recently though, Ronan only kept the main yard and the front lane, which still took two hours.

Adam was looking at the BMW as he said he would and Opal was climbing a small tree nearby. She was licking the bark and sneaking a leaf into her mouth when Adam wasn't watching her too closely. From a perch quite a few feet off the ground, she could see Ronan and all the rabbits dodging the mower and she chirped at Chainsaw, who landed on a branch nearby. 

Eventually, Ronan wiped sweat off his forehead with the bottom his shirt and shut off the mower. He stood up and caught Adam looking at him, the way he had for years, flushed with the sun or arousal. Adam bent over the car again and fiddled with something unknown. Opal leapt from the tree into Ronan's waiting arms and giggled when Chainsaw dove after her, landing on Ronan's shoulder.

For as little cooking skill as Ronan had, he could make very good lemonade. Part of the credit was due to the grove of citrus trees in the backyard that squeezed perfectly rationed sugar to water to juice. In days when Niall was travelling and Aurora couldn't be bothered to cook as she didn't have much skill either, Declan showed his brothers that they could knead the lemons or oranges in their hands and use a small knife to cut a hole wide enough for a straw and the peel created a convenient juice pouch. It was nice unless the seeds were small enough to fit through the straw or the pulp was too dense.

Ronan set Opal on his shoulders and told her to grab as many oranges as she could handle, which ended up being three. He told her to hang on and he grabbed her legs and ran around the side of the house making airplane noises and spinning in circles, jumping over tree stumps and sticks. She made a noise halfway between a squeal and a groan and tightened one arm around his neck. Ronan skipped over to Adam and set Opal's hooves on the roof of the BMW. She put her fruits in a line and counted them.

"It's hot. How are you not burnt yet?" Adam wiped his nose into his elbow and Ronan realized the flush in Adam's cheeks may have been more to do with the sun. Adam's skin didn't exactly burn the way Ronan's did. Adam first turned pink and then warmed to a tan like Gansey - Ronan turned red and stayed red.

"My face is on fire." Ronan deadpanned. He plucked an orange from Opal's hands and tossed it to Adam. "Here, drink this. You'll feel better."

Opal slipped off the roof of the car with Ronan's assistance and chased a rabbit off the driveway.

Adam turned the fruit in his hands and blinked at Ronan. He dropped his voice so Opal wouldn't hear, though she was a fair distance away. "Ronan, this is a fucking orange."

"Language," Ronan chided with a smirk. "I'm serious, though. Squish it and then,"

The sound of Adam's laughter, low and breathy, cut Ronan off. He wiped his forehead, saying, "I've never heard you say squish before."

"You've seen me act out the fucking movie Tangled by myself without batting a fucking eyelid and you're laughing at the word squish?"

"To be fair I don't think they say squish in Tangled. And I was more impressed that you had the entire movie memorized." Adam did as he was told, lacing his fingers and pressing his palms together. "How am I supposed to drink an orange?"

"Stab it. You have your pocket knife, right? And then suck it."

"I feel like I should at least buy it dinner first." A corner of Adam's mouth quirked up and Ronan rolled his eyes. "Hey, I'll buy dinner tonight. Or I guess I'll cook."

"You and your filthy mouth aren't getting anywhere near my dick."

"Dirty mind." Adam said as he slipped the blade into the peel. "But I do owe you."

"You don't owe me fucking anything. We don't have to have get off the exact same number of times, you know." 

"It feels unbalanced." Adam said, bringing the orange to his mouth. Ronan was quiet. "Do you want lunch? I'm getting hungry."

"How do you feel about grilled cheese?"

Adam dropped the hood of the car and with a small grin said, "I'll walk you home." He elbowed Ronan to see that he was indeed smiling at the horrible joke.

"It's thirty feet."

"More like thirty yards."

"Shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so bad at updating I'm sorry


	5. Chapter 5

"You are sexy as hell." Adam mumbled into his pillow. 

The room was still dark and Adam's blue eyes finally adjusted to see Ronan standing in the corner at the ironing board. He was perfectly naked despite his crisp shirt hanging within arm's reach. Adam was too, but he had cocooned himself in a sheet on the bed. His Adam squeezed the pillow and arched upward, turning onto his back.

"You were dropping f-bombs all yesterday, what happened?" Ronan laughed, hanging up his suit jacket and coming back to the bed. 

Adam's eyelashes fluttered and his hand went to curve around Ronan's hip. "It feels wrong to swear on Sunday. Especially since you're going to church."

"Yeah?" Ronan said, putting a knee by Adam's side and an arm next to his far shoulder. He pressed his face into Adam's neck, licking over the previous night's work of small marks the exact shape of Ronan's mouth. His lips wandered up to Adam's cheek, his breath hot and slow. "Fuck me," he said.

Adam grunted when Ronan's weight settled a little heavier. "You have to go to church." As he said this, the alarm clock on the nightstand started to beep an Irish jig. 

Ronan ignored it. Adam's hands gripped at his shoulders, not pushing him away. 

"Shit, you can be late one time." He gasped. 

"Nope. You missed your chance." 

Slapping the alarm clock off, Adam groaned and rolled back into the sheets while Ronan dressed and sang just loud enough to be heard. He buttoned his shirt and belted his pants and put Niall's old Rosary in his pocket. Adam watched him with half open eyes and sat up when Ronan grabbed his wallet.

"Redo your tie." He said.

"What's wrong with it?" He looked down and tugged at the blue silk, loose at his neck. 

He hadn't gotten better with ties since Aglionby. What was at first carelessness and discomfort was now plain apathy - and Adam, who had never worn a tie with a less than pristine knot, couldn't stand seeing a tie poorly done.

"Come here. Let me fix it."

Ronan flipped up his collar and bent over so Adam could work. 

Gansey had taught them all how to tie properly. Before he started Aglionby, Adam watched a video at the public library and practiced with a strip of fabric that had torn off a blanket at the double wide trailer. Niall showed Ronan once when he was eight years old - Ronan then tied all the ties he could find in the house, loosening them just enough to slip off his head but not come undone, so they could be put back on and adjusted to perfection in under ten seconds. 

One afternoon at Monmouth after school, Gansey made a comment about the appalling knot that Ronan's tie had become and proceeded to sit them down and demonstrate. Adam practiced - methodically and industriously as he did everything - first on himself and then convinced Ronan he needed to practice tying someone else's tie. It was an attempt to get his hands on Ronan, but Ronan told himself Adam meant it friendlily. Unwilling to sacrifice his neck for an extended period of time, Ronan stretched out on Gansey's bed, propping one leg up and crossing the other over it, allowing Adam to strangle his dangling leg with Gansey's silk.

"I like this tie."

"I prefer the one with flamingos on it. But this one's fine."

"I'm serious. It brings out your eyes." Adam pulled the tie snugly and pressed a brief kiss to Ronan's throat. "Hurry back?"

Ronan hummed. "Nah, I love a good long homily. I'm gonna tell Father to take his time."

"Shut your lying mouth."

He left for his churchly obligation, still chuckling. Adam roused Opal from her tangle of blankets and they went for a walk in the woods on the north side of the land. They held hands, helping each other over fallen logs and stepping over small streams of muddy water, though to be fair, Adam was more useful for Opal than the other way around. Both of them walked more surely in the forest - able to breathe better and stand straighter as if the forest was a distant relative of the dormant Cabeswater.

"Where is Ronan?" Opal asked, crouching at a weed with purple flowers.

"He went to church with Declan and Matthew. Don't eat those."

"I won't." She sounded certain but she still plucked a few of them and stuffed them in the pockets Blue sewed into her dress. "Can we go to the forest?"

Adam looked at her and she curled a finger into one of his belt loops. "We're in the forest, Opal."

"The other one. The one with the lake and the cars."

Cabeswater.

On a night more than a year ago when Ronan had a few too many beers, Adam asked what Ronan's dreams were like. "A fucking wonderland," he replied, his lips spread into a smile, his teeth white, the corners of his eyes crinkled with fondness and wetting with almost tears. Lying with his head in Adam's lap, he described the fields and mountains and the maps he created in his mind - an entire world for a visionary. Adam ran his hand over his hair and forehead and prodded about the creation process, the useless trinkets, the cars, the creatures. And Opal. "She was always there. I didn't make her. She was there."

"We can't go there, hon." Adam said, hoping he wouldn't have to explain.

It wasn't the first time she'd asked about it. Ronan was better about explaining - it didn't seem to crush her as badly when Ronan said they couldn't go. They had a bond that Adam couldn't hope to compete with.

"Soon?"

"Yes. Soon."

"Can we play with your cards?"

Adam's free hand touched the outside of his pocket. He traced the square corners of the set Maura had given him - the deck he didn't remember putting into his pocket that morning but had probably left there from whenever he wore the pants last. Since he obtained them, he kept them hidden. 

He wasn't afraid of Ronan's reaction. Ronan was candid as ever, and it was obvious from the tenseness in his shoulders and nearly inaudible huff whenever Adam mentioned psychic or supernatural things that he still wasn't comfortable. Adam wasn't entirely sure why he felt the need to withhold this from Ronan, but a slow exposure was better.

"Sure."

They walked to a flat area nearby and sat cross legged on the ground. Opal picked a card first - the page of cups. She bounced it up and down and said, "Blue!"

"That's right. Pick another card." He fanned the cards out and she pinched a card more worn than the others.

She studied the word at the bottom and pronounced, proudly for recognizing it, "Death."

Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and said, "Yes. One more."

The last one, she read, "The sun."

The meaning of the choices were lost on Opal, but Adam tried to make sense of the cards while she made up a story for them. The Page was going to the beach to go swimming but a horse came out of the water, the same color as the sun and it ate a crab. She ignored the death card for now and while she was telling her story, Adam remembered.

Gansey.

-

Ronan was on the porch, drinking ice water with his legs propped up on the front rail. His jacket was draped over the back of his rocking chair and the top two buttons of his shirt undone, his tie loose and low on his chest. Church was poorly air conditioned. Throughout the service, Ronan was distracted by Adam's former apartment just upstairs and Matthew tapping his fingers on the back of the missal. Declan was sunburnt but otherwise healthy. He and Ashley reunited in a bar a few months ago and had been steadily dating, returning from a vacation to Hawaii only a few days before. 

There was a note on the counter telling where Adam and Opal were, so Ronan wasn't concerned at the empty house. He fed the chickens in the yard and checked on the sleeping cows and kicked around some uneven gravel. Out in the south fields, a few goats wandered around, eating grass. They didn't come up to the house very often, but when they did, Opal tried to catch them and they ran away again.

Adam and Opal emerged from the treeline and Opal came running. She flung herself onto Ronan's lap and pulled crushed purple flowers from her pockets and smashed them to Ronan's lips. Leaves and petals fluttered down his shirt and around the chair, a few managing to make it onto Ronan's tongue.

He coughed and grabbed her wrist. "What the f-heck is this?"

"Adam said I can't eat them." She explained quickly, looking over her shoulder at Adam's approaching. 

"Did you?"

"No." 

"Good." Ronan spat some petals while Adam lifted Opal onto his hip. "How was the nature walk?"

Adam grinned. "Can you keep a secret?"

"From who?"

Adam's lips pursed. "Never mind. What are those?"

He pointed his chin to the shredded flowers and leaves.

Ronan scraped a few off his shirt and presented them in his palm. "Here. I picked these for you." He smirked and Adam politely took them because Opal was watching very closely.

"Thank you."

"Matthew and Dec are coming for dinner tomorrow."

Opal's head lifted and she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Declan?"

Generally, Opal was shy around strangers and people she didn't see often. It was the same reason she didn't like being too close to Henry. But for reasons beyond Ronan's and Adam's comprehension, she absolutely loved Declan. Matthew was easy to get along with - both being from dreams, they kept an easy friendship.

"What for?" Adam asked.

Ronan looked at the BMW without blinking. "Dad's death anniversary. Three years ago."

Although Niall's presence was literally everywhere at the Barns, Ronan did not allow himself to dwell on the reality. Niall was dead because of what he could do. And Maura's beau was the weapon. Mr. Gray, the one who was teaching Blue self-defense, regularly invited Ronan over for boxing matches so neither of them would get too rusty. At Adam's delicate urging, Ronan always went and exhausted himself physically and emotionally, never besting Mr. Gray. Niall had been an excellent boxer, but not an excellent teacher as Ronan soon learned. Sure, the Lynches knew the basics, but there were more subtleties than they knew. Mr. Gray and Ronan traded techniques over a few beers and if Ronan ended up staying too late, he crashed on the sofa for the night and woke up with dry, stinging eyes and at least two cats and a too-short blanket sitting on him, which he shoved off so he could sneak out the front door. 

"Three years only?" Adam's jaw fell a little. They knew of each other at the time but neither would call it friendship until Gansey had roped them together for pizza after school one day. "Sorry if that's insensitive, it feels longer."

Ronan's brows had tightened and he was still staring at the BMW. He didn't respond until Adam put his hand on Ronan's wrist, slipping his fingers under the leather bands. Ronan's head turned and he forced a neutral expression.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"I forgot." Ronan said stiffly. He wiped his nose on the back of his free hand and inhaled the summery grass smell and Adam's sweat and Opal's bubble bath soap. "If Matthew hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have remembered."

Reading Ronan Lynch was sometimes like reading a picture book, other times like a novel in a foreign language. Adam wasn't sure if not remembering Niall's death would have been a good thing, since it suggested healing, or a bad thing, since it suggested moving on and establishing a new life without Niall. Ronan, still so distant from his own feelings, could have gone either way.

Adam casually plugged Opal's upturned ear, while Ronan shook his head. "It hurts so fucking much. All over again."

"I can't imagine." Adam said softly, because he didn't know what else to say. He laced his fingers with Ronan's and gave a small squeeze. 

Ronan took a breath and finally blinked. "You never said how your walk was."

"It was great. We found a couple turtles and mushrooms and a rock that looked exactly like a clam." Adam said, drawing the clam-shaped rock from his pocket and handing it to Opal. 

"And Adam fell off a tree." Opal giggled and buried her face into his armpit when Adam pretended to be offended.

"Well now you have to tell the story." Ronan teased.

Opal interrupted Adam often to make sure no detail was left out - including Adam's shoelace coming untied and Opal accidentally stepping on a half-buried worm and unexpectedly finding Chainsaw sitting on a low branch of a pine tree. Chainsaw had Adam's wristwatch in her claws because Opal was playing with it in the yard and she forgot about it. The hands were stopped by a dead battery, marking the time as 6:21. After a short lesson on not leaving things out in the yard where they could be broken or lost, Adam climbed the tree. He had the band between his fingers but not a steady enough grip on his branch and fell about eight feet, landing hard on his hip.

Ronan's eyes wandered to Adam's waist. "Does it hurt?"

"Not so bad. I'm used to bruises."

That was not the response Ronan wanted. Any mention of Robert Parrish or the abuse Adam suffered tended to push Ronan into a rage. Last time, Adam smacked his forehead at work when he misjudged the edge of a bumper when trying to get to a ringing phone on time. It resulted in a bruise the size of his thumb, which Adam nonchalantly covered with concealer the next day out of habit. It had made Ronan furious enough that he went for a run and didn't return for more than an hour. And he still kicked apart an already broken barrel until Adam came and grabbed his arms and told him everything was ok.

The phone rang from inside and Ronan only squinted his eyes. Adam made no move for it either. 

"Can you keep a secret?" Adam asked again, his blue eyes lighting with childlike joy.

A corner of Ronan's mouth flexed in a poor attempt at a smile, just to appease Adam. "I don't like secrets." He said.

"You'll like this one."

"Fine. What is it?"

The phone kept ringing. And Adam glanced over his shoulder as if he was thinking about going to get it.

Ronan stood up suddenly. "Sit down, I'll get it. Just shout your secret." He curled a lip and scrubbed his hands over his face. "The closest neighbor is six miles away, no one will hear."

"Gee, that's reassuring." Adam set Opal on her feet, where she slithered around Ronan's legs and stole his now vacant seat. He followed Ronan inside.

"It might be further." Ronan muttered as he glared at the phone. His thumb hovered over the answer button, lifting his eyes expectantly to Adam.

"I think Gansey and Blue are going to get married."


	6. Chapter 6

That night, Ronan slept less than an hour. When he did, he dreamt about rings. Wedding rings made of gold with shiny but uneven stones that glittered too brightly when Ronan touched them. Ronan wandered the jewelry shop in his mind, the kind of place that would have yielded pockets of accessories back in the waking world, but Ronan kept his hands to himself. Adam appeared in the dream then. He put one ring on each finger on both hands and leaned over the counter to where Ronan stood watching.

Adam perused and Ronan stared as obviously as he did before they got together. There were no price tags on any of the merchandise except a very old alarm clock in a glass display case that chimed an Irish dance song Ronan once competed to. It was a real object too, and Aurora had found it at a garage sale, buying it for the price on the purple sticky note on its face of four dollars. In the dream, the price was five.

As Adam walked around, he removed each ring from his hands, one at a time, leaving only one on his ring finger. It was a silver piece, turned green with patina as if the thing had never been properly cared for. It was exactly the type of thing Adam would go for, like something grown in the earth. Like something Cabeswater would have given.

Ronan wanted to take it.

The urge was not new, but the intensity of the desire was. In the dream, he reached for Adam's hand. Before their fingers touched, Adam whipped his hand away and sharply backhanded Ronan's cheek.

"Cur?" Ronan snapped, touching his face.

Adam caressed Ronan's cheek, saying sweetly, "Cabeswater est mortuus."

-

"Adam says you are going to miss breakfast if you keep sleeping." Opal informed Ronan from beside him. 

She was reclined where Adam usually slept, combing her fingers through a doll's hair that she had nearly thrown a tantrum for in the store - to prevent causing a scene at the time, Ronan swore and picked up the doll and Adam swore and picked up Opal, both hurrying to the checkout and they called it an early birthday present for her. Ronan lifted an arm and Opal immediately snuck under it, tucking herself into his side. Silently, Ronan thanks Adam for not wanting to fool around or else he'd be naked and uncomfortable. Ronan closed his eyes.

"I sent her up here to get you and she's napping."

Ronan squinted at the open door. "We. We are napping."

"Oh come on,"

"You're perfectly welcome to join us. There's some room on the corner."

In the few minutes, Opal had thrown all her limbs in four different directions. That morning, Opal had begged Adam to paint her nails all different colors, so they looked in every drawer, eventually finding a jar divided into eight parts with eight equally offensive neon colors of what appeared to be nail polish. They giggled and painted each other's nails, almost sneaking up to surprise Ronan with his own manicure. Adam had soundly convinced her that they couldn't get to his feet without him noticing.

Adam picked up Opal's legs and swung them around and stretched out along the foot of the bed. Ronan's fingers tangled into his hair.

"I dreamt about you last night." He said.

"Did you?"

"Technically it was an hour ago. You-" Ronan paused. "You hit me."

Adam tensed. "Like… an angry way or a kinky way?"

"You weren't angry. I deserved it anyway."

"No one deserves to be hit, Ronan." 

"I do. Sometimes." Ronan grinned suddenly. "Like when we're doing it."

"You don't think that's weird?"

"Fuck no."

"Ronan,"

"Sorry," he said, glancing down to make sure that Opal was still asleep. "Hell no. I like it."

Adam smiled for a second, but then it faded. He threw an elbow over his eyes. "Has Gansey or Blue called?"

"Fuck if I know. Dammit."

"I'm gonna start a swear jar for you." Adam pinched Ronan's knee, allowing Ronan to take his hand and run his thumb over his knuckles, delicately tracing a papercut gotten from going through a grocery sack of unsorted mail yesterday.

They had stayed up late sitting across from each other after reading Opal to sleep each slicing open envelopes and unwrapping free newspapers and months-old ads for winter clothes and supplies. Ronan didn't go through the mail when Adam was at school - he scanned it for what looked important, namely postcards or what was addressed to him, and shoved the rest into bags and left them in Declan's old room. Once a month Ronan and Adam shared a large mug of chamomile tea with two spoonfuls of honey Blue found at a farmer's market - Gansey hated honey - and went through letters addressed to occupants either dead or moved out, sorting into piles of varying importance. Adam kissed Ronan's cheek goodnight two hours after midnight.

The phone rang and Ronan blindly grabbed for it, swiping a magazine onto the floor. He handed it to Adam. As a rule, Ronan wasn't in the mood to talk to Declan on little sleep or before eight AM, or both as the case was. Adam made arrangements for their reunion and told Declan to bring some chips and soda because Declan must have asked to be polite.

"We have to go to the store." Adam announced, setting the receiver on Ronan's stomach. "You don't have to come if you'd rather sleep." 

Ronan breathed in sharply and Adam's lips curled in on themselves, stopping his words. During the night, Adam woke up more than once and threw his arm across Ronan's chest, hugging him tightly until slumber slackened his grip. Even in Adam's dreams, practical and real scenarios, his subconscious worked hard to justify Ronan's shadowed and red-rimmed eyes staring blankly at the ceiling fan, the strong smell of cheap vodka on his breath, the reluctance before allowing Adam into his side. When Adam crawled out of bed, Ronan had just drifted off, his forehead creased, his eyebrows knotted, his teeth clenched, braced as if sleeping might have been the worst kind of torture. 

"I'll go." Ronan said.

"You barely slept."

"I don't mind." 

Opal and Adam played a game of Old Maid while Ronan showered and got himself together for the public eye in a careless and disinterested way only a Lynch could achieve. Ronan finished eating cold bacon and leftover eggs and cheese that Opal didn't eat but covered in far too much pepper, and he rinsed with a capful of mouthwash, spitting into the sink before grabbing his keys. The BMW whipped along the highway, the radio on an unfamiliar station with instrumental Irish lullabies that only seemed in tune within ten miles of the Barns, gradually turning into a sports station where two announcers commentated a baseball game from the other side of the country. 

Literal years had passed since anyone or anything known as a picky eater lived at the Barns. When Ronan was very young, too young to remember, the Lynches had a dog - a wolf-like husky the color of gravel named Sam. Sam used to eat rocks and dead chickens and an unusual weed that grew in wide patches with tiny yellow flowers and wide flat leaves. Opal knew Sam from Ronan's dreams and mourned the loss of Ronan's fading memories by calling every dog in the real world Sam.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands." Adam said when Ronan turned into the parking lot.

Ronan frowned. "I'm fucking driving, Parrish. That's the dumbest thing you've ever said."

"We are literally going zero miles per hour. You're in a parking spot."

From the backseat, Opal giggled while Ronan conceded and opened his palm across the center console, squinting his eyes closed.

Adam placed his gift, which was a notecard, into Ronan's hand. He waited while Ronan first opened one eye to examine.

"Really?" Ronan asked. He flipped the card over and rolled his eyes. "Was the lasagna that fucking bad?"

In Adam's careful handwriting was a recipe for chicken dip - a simple appetizer that required only five ingredients and about fifteen minutes of preparation. 

"It's a good start if you really want to become a better cook. Blue makes this all the time."

"Yeah, good start." Ronan got out and made a conscious effort not to slam the door. He helped Opal out and picked her up on his hip.

Adam pushed the cart, doing mental calculations of discounts of labeled signs and the coupons in his pocket he'd collected from their search through the mail. Though Ronan's credit card would cover the sum even if they happened to buy a house - a mansion - a block of mansions, Adam couldn't help counting his pennies. 

While Ronan was carefully holding a head of broccoli out of Opal's reach, Adam's cell phone rang in his pocket.

"Hang on, Ro," Adam said, touching his arm before Ronan wandered off and came back with a giant bag of jellybeans like he had last time they went shopping together. He turned his shoulders, holding the phone between his good ear and Ronan's, who had leaned down slightly to hear. "Hello?"

"Adam!" Gansey greeted. "Maura said you know the news."

Adam smiled in relief and Ronan's heart pounded in his ears. "Tell me anyway."

"No, I'll wait and do it properly. Where are you?"

"At the grocery store."

"Oh," Gansey said, surprised. "We're at the Barns now actually, I thought we'd surprise you." He sounded guilty but not at all remorseful. 

Ronan had told them all, even grudgingly to Blue and Henry that they were literally allowed to walk in without knocking. Gansey only took his offer once, on the night of a fearfully bad panic attack, so intense that Adam almost called the emergency clinic. 

"Why isn't Blue right there with you?"

"She found the key under the back mat. She is definitely eating Opal's graham crackers."

Blue mumbled something in the background that Adam didn't catch.

"We'll be back in about an hour, you should stay." Adam offered and Ronan nodded, relieved that he would have more buffers between him and Declan.

Ronan let Adam wrap up the call. He picked the rest of the ingredients for Adam's chicken dip and a box of fruit snacks for Opal, making his way back to the bananas. It was a system Adam invented for all shopping excursions - if any of the group got separated, they were to meet back at a predetermined location. At grocery stores, it was at produce, or specifically bananas; any kind of home department stores, it was at lightbulbs; clothing stores, which was a rare visit, they were to gather near shoes, because as Ronan pointed out, every clothing store they went to had at least one pair of boat shoes as ridiculous as Gansey's. 

Adam was waiting for them and they checked out, loading just a few bags into the trunk of the BMW. Ronan pulled out of the lot and back towards the highway. 

The light turned green. Adam reached for the radio dial at the same time Opal clapped her hands, just once. Halfway through the intersection, Ronan slammed on the brakes and his hand flew the horn, pressed hard and loud. He swore, long and creative, at the black Mustang that had blown through a red light and nearly T-boned them. 

Radio static buzzed through Ronan's ears, and the BMW's engine died. A car that had had little to no trouble in the twenty plus years Niall and now Ronan owned it went silent.

Still stopped in the middle of the road, Ronan put his hand on Adam's shoulder, giving him a rough shake. He'd had a nightmare like this, but it involved much more blood.

Adam was breathing heavily but unhurt, and Opal looked as petrified as Ronan felt, her hands still slapped together like she might have been praying.

"Shitting shit. That fucker. Fucking hell. Are you ok?"

"Drive, Ronan." Adam said, putting the shift back into neutral.

Ronan turned the keys and rolled forward, his hand returning tight on Adam's shoulder. "Is your seatbelt on? Shit, I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

Adam nodded and Ronan drove with his hand firmly on the wheel and the shift, his eyes double checking at every intersection, the orange dial never going above the designated speed limit.

Hugs were exchanged at their arrival. Blue was strangely calm for someone who had just gotten engaged, but Gansey said they hadn't done much sleeping that previous night because Henry wanted to plan the entire wedding that night. And for the most part, the planning was done. The ceremony was to be very small and merely a formality with the Gansey family and the state rather than the church. Wedding or not, they'd be together forever - everyone knew it.

To leave Ronan the kitchen, Adam encouraged them outside to the back deck where the lemonade from trees was in season and the sun wasn't too hot and a distant storm could be seen far across the fields that would roll in by dinner time. Opal wanted to help cook, so Ronan let her read the recipe card to him and he arranged the ingredients and he did as she told him. He allowed her to measure out the cheese and the sauces and he cooked the chicken on the stove.

Ronan repeated Opal's instructions to himself as he cut chicken and dropped it in a baking pan and elbowed Chainsaw out of the way because she kept trying to grab the meat when he wasn't looking. Eventually he caught her with both hands and went to the back porch where Adam had settled next to Blue, holding her hand so he could see the ring and he placed Chainsaw on her shoulder. Interested, Ronan plucked Blue's wrist and held it up to see. The ring was decidedly not something Gansey picked as it was not gaudy or enormous - in fact, Ronan was certain he'd seen Maura wearing one just like it, or maybe it was Calla. It suited her well. 

"Kerah," Opal said softly from the sliding door, her large eyes filling with tears. 

Ronan went to her and put a hand on her back, smoothing down her hair. He breathed, "Shit."

She had dropped the measuring cup of barbecue sauce and it had splattered all over the floor, including specks on their shoes and on the cabinets. Adam had followed them curiously and Ronan started to clean the mess with the last of a roll of paper towels.

"Do we have more?" He waved the empty roll at Adam. "We're out."

"That's okay," Adam said, reaching for the last bag still on the counter. He produced a twin pack of extra absorbent generic brand towels and a satisfied smile. "I bought two."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have Declan and Matthew I promise! Also apologies for the Latin that might possibly be wrong. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

"Dec, I swear if she throws up, I will end you." Ronan grit his teeth and held himself back on the porch.

Laughter from both Declan and Opal was infectious. As soon as Declan arrived, Opal literally leapt off Ronan's lap, kicking him painfully in a private place as she did so. She scrambled to the car and Declan picked her up, spinning her around saying so only she could hear, 'There's my girl,"

She grabbed his hair and kissed his ear. He held her tightly, trying hard to ignore her hooves and her bony knees digging into his sides because, frankly, it still weirded him out a little. He didn't care for children in particular, no more than he cared for house pets or anything that might ignite a paternal instinct. But he liked Opal - he and Ashley had babysat several times when they weren't going on exotic vacations. Opal was hesitant around Ashley at first - suspicious of her bleach blonde hair and her hoop earrings. But after that first time, roping Declan into allowing them to put makeup on him and chasing Ashley's small dog around their apartment, Opal had no trouble and gave Declan all her attention as if he'd passed some kind of test.

Matthew still lived on Aglionby campus. Since Declan's graduation, he'd been assigned a random roommate, despite Declan's assurance that he could have his own room. Enrollment was down and tuition was up, a fact that made Adam cringe out of habit when he came across a letter with the Aglionby logo on it. Calla had grumbled something about it last time he was over and proceeded to tell Adam to try and guess one of the three cards from a standard deck she held in her hand.

Matthew's new roommate was, according to Ronan, nothing special. Though he found very few people beside his few friends, Adam, and Opal remarkable. His name was something from the top 10 baby boy names of the year he was born - Brody, Aiden, or something as generic and forgettable - parents alive and rich by inheritance and a few wise investments in the stock market. Matthew got along with him, and that, Adam said when they discussed it later that night, was the most important thing.

Opal was buzzing from the excitement of a full house, and, since his arrival, she hadn't left Declan's side, except when he locked her out of the bathroom so he could pee in peace. It had been rare when Ronan felt like inviting more than three people over at a time. The deck was clean and populated, its chairs brushed clean of white pollen and cobwebs of late spring, the table scrubbed with a stained towel dipped in a cleaner that smelled like cherry cough syrup.

The engagement story was told. Gansey burning dinner, Blue laughing and spilling her soda. Gansey, not even thinking, on a knee with a velvet box, unlabeled. Blue, crying. Gansey, almost crying. Maura, looking on from the hallway, crying. Mr. Gray, tugging Maura away, smiling.

Though it was an anniversary, no one mentioned Niall. Ronan and Declan stared at each other for a few seconds too long, each in their own form of mourning, trying to picture a younger Niall, features nearly identical to his surviving sons. Niall had aged well, not a gray hair on his body at the time of his death. Declan, even at his age, had a few stray white hairs - only visible if you looked for them, a fact Ronan had mocked until he once pulled a single white strand from just above his ear. 

After someone produced a bottle of champagne after dinner, Declan caught Ronan's eyes and jerked his chin to the chairs at the far end of the table. The celebration had turned more to an engagement party and all the Lynch brothers, now clustered at one end of the table had receded to their own memories because Niall was everywhere.

It wasn't something Ronan was always aware of since Adam moved in, but now it was all he and his brothers could think about. Ronan seized the bottle of champagne. He poured two, clinked his glass with Declan and Matthew's plastic cup filled with sparkling grape juice because someone had to drive, and Ronan downed his entire drink in one gulp. No one tried to make small talk because it would never work, and soon Ronan wandered back inside in search of something stronger.

Niall had made everything. Memories came, unfiltered, unwilled from sidelong glances at objects not thought about in years - like the dining table. The table where Aurora made breakfast every day - three legs because Niall, despite being a different kind of engineer knew the most stable surfaces had three legs. The table, cracked where Ronan and Declan had planned their five and eight year old revolt and stuck steak knives with blades that glowed red at human touch. The chairs with cushions that were as hard as bricks or soft as down depending on whether you slept enough the night before. The actual pillows, most of which were now torn apart thanks to Opal, but had at one point whispered stories as you fell asleep.

Somewhere in the attic, a boarded up crawlspace above Matthew's room, there was a box with a photo album and various school projects from Niall's childhood. The boys had never seen it because Niall spoke so extravagantly, so poetically of his dreams that it was as if Niall was always the young, handsome Irish fellow who could seduce anyone with promises of whatever their hearts desired and had been nothing else.

For the most part, it was true Niall had always been a smooth talker, a convincing negotiator - a trait that only Declan inherited. 

In that box were love letters from a girl across the Atlantic named Aurora - a girl who died when Niall was twelve - a girl Niall recreated when he was eighteen. He had no qualms about forging her legal documents so he could marry her properly in a church despite being a kind of god himself. He changed very little about her - fortified her brittle bones, put color back into her bloodless lips, and closed the hole in her heart that made her perpetually weak. She was still as kind as she was, as beautiful, as loving.

Niall dreamed for her. She loved to sew, so he made her threads that never unwound, needles that never dulled and wouldn't puncture skin, spools that changed color in sunlight. He made her a house with a porch because she loved sunlight - enough bedrooms for the type of family she wanted. He made her everything she dreamed and when their boys grew up, they knew her exemplary love and the pure devotion Niall had for her. Ronan loved his father but Niall never loved his sons as much as his wife.

The morning Ronan found Niall was a pivoting point. Ronan grew cold and stopped talking and got into fights because his father taught him how. His friends from tennis drifted away and then Kavinsky - a dark period, necessary for recovery - and Gansey, then soon after Adam and Blue, replaced every piece of his social life. He had vague memories of a fourth, Noah, but when he tried to place the pale, blond boy, he never could.

He wanted to see Mr. Gray, or Dean, as he'd been transitioning to. It was a strange urge, but not uncommon as he was the closest thing to a father figure Ronan could get. Mr. Richard Gansey II was too untouchable, too Gansey-like to qualify.

"Hey." Adam's voice cut through his mental rambling - his hand confident on Ronan's shoulder. "Want to go for a walk?"

"What?"

"A walk. On our legs. Outside." Adam tugged his hand and Ronan went.

They passed Opal and Declan on their way upstairs - Adam must have talked him into putting her to sleep since it was nearing her bedtime. Gansey and Blue were telling Matthew about their travels, putting down the last of the open drinks and finishing the last of Ronan's successful chicken dip.

"Why are we over here?" Ronan asked, stepping over a broken fence post that marked the edge of the woods.

"Just because." 

Ronan stared blankly and Adam sighed. 

"You looked like you could get away for a minute. With today being," pause. "What it is, and Gansey and Declan." Another pause. "It's tough on all of you." Adam said

"Can you please not get all hippie on me?"

Adam was silent but not passive. He refused to let Ronan sour his mood. Though nearly everything today seemed to put Ronan on edge, once they were deep enough into the trees to not see the house, Ronan's fists finally unfurled.

"You don't have to be such a moody ass, you know."

There was a beat. "Declan thinks we should turn her over. Get her to real adults - get her into a real school and stop treating her like a pet. He won't say it but fuck, like he's not obvious. We're not her parents."

"Well, you did sort of-" Adam started, about to get technical.

"It's not the same thing. If Cabeswater was working, I could dream up paperwork. Tutors will ask questions. My dad would have - fuck."

"You need to stop thinking, come on." They shouldered on, stepping over weeds. Ronan, with his larger strides got a little ahead. Adam threw a rock and hit him square in the back - Ronan turned, frowning. "Don't be angry."

"It's the default emotion."

"Shut up, it is not." Adam clicked his tongue. "Can I hold your hand?"

"Why?"

"Because you're my boyfriend and I like you and the ground is uneven."

Ronan huffed and took Adam's hand. 

"Can I kiss you?"

"Ok, Parrish, this is ridiculous."

"If you need reasons, it's because you're my boyfriend and I like you and I want to."

"Dumb reasons." Ronan mumbled but met Adam's lips anyway.

The tension in Ronan's shoulders dissipated into a warm hum, more so as Adam opened his mouth. Hands wandered and the mud under Ronan's boots slipped as Ronan allowed himself to be backed against a tree trunk. Adam's fingers swept along the line of Ronan's hips, taking Ronan's breath away with his calculated and natural movements - ones he'd done so many times in the months they'd been together.

Ronan pulled back and Adam licked his neck, just above his chest, once more before he straightened up, keeping his fingers tucked into Ronan's underwear.

"Are you ok?"

In the silence that followed, birds sang as clear as sirens - whistling church hymns. Or they once had - the dreamed birds sang Holy, Holy, Holy, and the occasional Silent Night all year round until the morning they didn't. The real birds, the ones that had always been real, from the area were able to pick parts of the tune and on late summer evenings like this one, the rounds of Hosanna, Hosanna continued until all the sunlight was gone in a kind of vespers and compline, prayers Ronan outgrew long ago.

They were gone long enough that Gansey and Blue and the Lynches were saying their goodbyes on the front porch, Gansey leaning heavily on Blue's shoulder, Declan's eyes unfocused in a dazed, drunken way. Ronan wanted to finish the last of the vodka watching as Niall on his porch transformed in subtle feature shifts into Declan, which made Ronan angry.

Gansey promised to call sometime and Blue insisted on getting them involved in wedding planning. Ronan clapped Declan's shoulder and wrapped an arm around Matthew, not saying goodbye, but sending them off just as well. 

While Ronan finished off the half-empty glasses on the table, Adam loaded the dishwasher and swept the floor and soon they found themselves tangled in the bedroom. Their clothes stayed on, warm and smelling of summer, Adam lying between Ronan's legs, kissing softly. It was the kind Ronan always dreamed about - the kind that made his heart beat twice as fast and not at all at the same time.

"Hey, hey," Adam whispered, curling his fingers around Ronan's ear. "Don't cry." He pressed his thumbs under Ronan's eyes and reached to squeeze Ronan's trembling hands.

"Don't stop," Ronan almost whined, forcing his eyes to open. "Shit," 

A faraway look passed over his face, somewhere between confusion and bliss, and his eyes fell shut again. He sniffed loudly and Adam sat back into a crouch.

"Ro, if you don't want to-"

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine." He met Adam's careful gaze, seeing that he wasn't fooling him. Adam knew him better. Hell, Gansey might have known he was masking. "But maybe… not this. Shit, I never thought I'd say that to you."

Adam chuckled. "I know. Come on." He pushed Ronan onto his side, saying into his hairline, "You aren't the little spoon nearly often enough."

"I can feel your boner." Ronan deadpanned as Adam flung his outer arm and leg around Ronan's front.

"Shut up and go to sleep."

"God, I love it when you talk dirty."

"Yeah?" Adam breathed with the slightest push forward. "Mud. Oil. Grass stains."

Ronan cracked a smile and made an incredibly sexual whine. When Adam's laugh quieted, they both took steady breaths. Adam kissed the back of his neck and said goodnight.

In about seven hours, Adam would get up and go to the mechanics and spend too much time looking at the clock - the clock with a cracked face because someone threw a socket wrench at it long ago. Opal had his watch, still on her bedside table right next to a Cinderella nightlight. Around noon, he would call because he forgot his lunch and only had grocery store coupons in his wallet. He still felt guilty when he used the card Ronan gave him - the one with literally millions of dollars on it - so he avoided using that.

Ronan would come, armed with a frozen dinner for two or fast food, greasy burgers and fries to share. And while they sat across from each other on the moldy and rotting picnic table, watching Opal run erratically out of the corner of their eyes, Adam would ask quietly, "Are you ok?"

Then Ronan would take a moment - remembering how only a few short hours ago in the darkness, how roughly he scrubbed his hands over his red, stinging eyes, willing his mind to stop thinking about Niall even as Adam moved in him, telling him in breathless pants that he was good, so good, perfect. Ronan would hesitate only that moment and look at his boyfriend. 

Adam would ask again and Ronan would nod and take Adam's hand under the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while since an update - sorry if the flow is weird, I wrote it in pieces and tried to put them together and I don't know if it worked out well or not. Next chapter will be Adam's birthday - possibly posted in the next two weeks


	8. Chapter 8

The morning of Adam's birthday, Ronan couldn't sleep. Adam had called off all his work obligations for three days in a row and the one uncle he had that kept up the illusion of caring called the previous day. Even Chainsaw knew it was a day - she stood on Ronan's arm, having worked herself out of the cage which Ronan never locked anyway, and poked her beak up his nose when he didn't acknowledge her quickly enough. Adam was still dead asleep, his limbs heavy when Ronan wriggled free.

It was too early for actual work, so Ronan instead did enough pushups that his arms ached and enough squats that his ass burned and enough situps that when he sneezed his entire body seized, unable to decide which part needed to hurt the most. Opal crept down the stairs while Ronan was still on the floor in the living room.

She watched reruns of the Olympics because Niall had a DVD collection of all the gymnastic floor routines from years ago, born of a passing fad when Matthew asked if he could join a tumbling class. Now, whenever Ronan was on his back on the floor, she ran to his feet and asked for airplanes.

Ronan took her hands and planted his feet on her stomach, tickling her when he flexed his toes. He lifted up and she squealed - he spread her arms wide and raised her high, dropping her by bending his knees, and always catching her, always supporting with a strong grip on her hands. 

When her giggles turned from laughter to more soundless gasping, he landed her carefully on her feet and sat up. She pitched forward, throwing her arms around his neck and he hugged her back. He picked stray leaves from her hair and told her to wait while he went to check if Adam was awake. She stayed in the kitchen obediently, digging out the cordless toaster as soon as he was out of sight.

Ronan hovered in the doorway, changing his clothes in the darkness to his usual tank and a pair of jeans that didn't smell too bad. He should have done laundry.

On the bed, Adam stirred slowly, clutching the pillow tighter and sighing on the cusp of awake. There was a brief moment where Ronan stared, physically unable to look away, and then Adam jerked his head up, glancing around the room. He sank his head back down when he saw Ronan watching.

"Go back to sleep. Breakfast isn't ready." Ronan said.

"Too late, I'm awake." Adam grinned, throwing the blanket of and stepping out, naked as the day he was born.

Ronan blinked, his thoughts swerving to the lithe form of Adam's body. His hands curled in his pockets. "I forget, is it actually my birthday?" He risked a quick glance downward and resisted a whine.

"Mmm, no, I don't think so." Adam wrapped a hand around Ronan's neck and drew him in for a small kiss.

"Opal is using the toaster unsupervised." Ronan mumbled.

Adam laughed. "You are so good at turning me on."

"We don't have time for birthday sex."

Adam was quiet for a second, searching Ronan's face for some kind of indication that he was lying. "You're kidding."

"Nope." Ronan dared Adam to question him again.

The confidence Adam had earlier waned visibly and Ronan laughed, kissing the corner of Adam's mouth with a smile.

Something crashed downstairs and Adam flinched. Regrettably, Adam dressed himself in the most comfortable t-shirt he owned - or, that Ronan owned. Despite Ronan being broader in the chest and shoulders, they shared clothes. Or, to be more accurate, Adam shared Ronan's shirts and Ronan took only the overly large sweatshirts from Adam's college. Being a tutor, he got discounts and sometime he got free apparel by attending certain events on campus, along with free meals now and then.

Seeing Adam in clothes that weren't holding on by their last threads always surged Ronan's heart. That Adam allowed himself to have nice things. When he asked Ronan to come shopping with him the first time, Ronan dropped his little pitchfork - it was August, nearly a year after they started dating before Adam started his first year of college, Ronan was digging up potatoes in the garden - and immediately went to the BMW, covered in dirt. They ended up spending all day at the mall, treating themselves to freshly baked bagels with fruit flavored cream cheese, after being sensible and dropping Opal off at Declan's.

"Happy birthday." Ronan said quickly, yanking the sheets back to proper on the bed. "I'll sing to you later."

Adam poked his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush paused midair. His brows were turned down suspiciously, white foam nearly dripping down his chin.

"What." Ronan said.

"You tell me."

"I was going to put my dick in a box, but you said no presents."

A brisk laugh came out and Adam coughed quickly to cover it up. Laughing only encouraged him, and as much as Adam had grown to love Ronan's sense of humor, he didn't want Ronan to get comfortable enough to make inappropriate jokes in public. It was a bad example for Opal too. Opal was modeling his behavior more and more anyway - she had recently started drawing on her own skin, giving herself temporary cloud tattoos and Adam had caught her more than once trying to lift only one eyebrow at a time and curling her lips into a sneer that almost was threatening.

Ronan only resisted Adam's attempt to push him back into the mattress by claiming he could smell something burning.

Opal, in her nine years, was a worse cook than Ronan. In Ronan's mind, he didn't have a lot of kitchen appliances just sitting in the forest. And if there had been, she wouldn't have given up chasing butterflies and birds and dogs around for learning how to make macaroni.

The toast she made was burned, but she tried to hide the charred bits by smothering them in apricot jelly and powdered sugar. She sat Adam at the head of the table where her hand-drawn placemat with the three of them in colorful scribble on it was waiting. Chainsaw hopped around stealing her crayons and trying to pull strands of straw from a wreath on the wall above the fireplace.

Opal performed a card trick while Ronan dropped twenty eggs into a huge skillet and squeezed orange juice from the trees outside. He whisked and stirred and passed out paper towels with flower designs that grew on the sheet as if they were alive. The vines always crept towards Adam's hands, not strong enough to leave the paper as they might have if Cabeswater was stronger. 

"Add pepper to those eggs," Adam advised solemnly and Ronan almost glared. But he reached over for the pepper anyway and a half-empty bag of shredded cheddar cheese and a mostly empty bottle of ketchup.

Twenty eggs in honor of Adam's twenty years, ended up being far too much for them. Being stubborn though, Ronan kept loading his plate all morning until Opal told Adam the secret of the day. She was going to give him his cake, they would eat it, and then she was going to Blue's.

Blue's because Blue had gotten some glitter paint and Maura had collected a good number of rocks from her garden she was starting behind the big tree in the backyard of 300 Fox Way. Blue's because she had called and said that Opal needed more diverse crafts than markers and apparently, only Blue would teach her to knit.

The cake was made in the middle of the night. Ronan wasn't planning on anything special because Adam had begged him not to make a big deal of it - it was just a birthday. Opal was less easy to convince, so shortly after Adam fell asleep, she checked the way Ronan showed her by placing her hand underneath his nose and feeling his steady breath. Even further, Ronan sometimes dabbed a touch of a floral perfume that Aurora used to wear on his wrist and held it before Adam and then Adam would sigh and always say he slept better than usual the next day.

Adam ate two pieces of cake, Ronan snuck spoonfuls of leftover frosting, and Opal had one piece and part of a branch that had fallen in the yard before Adam caught her and made her spit it out. They drove to 300 Fox Way and had sandwiches and salted tomatoes for lunch. Blue presented Adam with a storage cart for all his tools - it had once been in the garage but the only contents were cobwebs and a few stray bolts, so Blue repainted it and, with Ronan's assistance, heaved it into the trunk of the BMW. Once Opal found a bug underneath a rock longer than her finger, she didn't mind that Ronan and Adam left.

"I thought that would be misery, getting her to stay." Adam said, watching the road.

Ronan pursed his lips. "She's easy to distract."

"Wonder where that comes from." Adam joked. Ronan didn't argue. "What's on the agenda this afternoon?"

"A movie. Dinner at… shit. Somewhere downtown. I made reservations. Window shopping. Fun stuff."

They didn't pay attention during the movie. Instead, they shared a large popcorn with extra salt and a soda, and kissed in the darkness innocently, whispering about all kinds of things, nearly falling asleep with their heads on each other's shoulders, their legs braced against the seats in front of them. The lights turning back on startled them fully awake and they reclined their seats in the parking lot, throwing their arms over their eyes, and napping for a while until a reminder in Ronan's phone (miraculously set) indicated their dinner was in thirty minutes.

They ate dinner and Ronan passed on dessert, winking at Adam and claiming he was stuffed. Adam was disappointed when Ronan explained that the wink did not mean it was time for sex.

"Let's go in here. After you." Ronan said, nudging Adam towards a brightly lit store with a string of rainbow fairy lights draped across the open door. A quiet tinkling tune played from an old radio inside, so soft that Adam only recognized it as a nursery rhyme when he and Ronan were directly in front of the speaker. It was an unusual candy store- all of the decorations and neon colors and wide paneless windows felt modern, there was yet an aged feel like a refurbished station wagon or a clean kerosene lamp.

"What is this place?" Adam lifted the lid of a glass jar, one of hundreds lined along the walls, and plucked a paper wrapped piece of gum from inside.

"I'm not sure, but I think it's heaven."

"Sounds like blasphemy." Adam rubbed his nose and cracked a grin at Ronan's glare. "It ain't heaven, it's Virginia."

"Oh shut up." Ronan groaned. He did fight when Adam looped an arm over his back and tucked his fingers into Ronan's back pocket. "This is dessert."

Adam lifted his eyebrows innocently. "I thought you were dessert."

"You're not going to eat me." Ronan rolled his eyes.

"Well I _was_ going to." Adam said, squeezing his back hand and licking his lips, causing Ronan to tense. 

"It's supposed to be your birthday, not mine. And shit, get your mind out of the gutter. You're filthy."

"Horny. That's the word you meant. I'm horny."

"Stop it. We're in public."

"Am I flustering you?" Adam rounded on Ronan, spreading his thumb over Ronan's red cheeks, his fingers pinching playfully.

"No." Ronan tugged him along to the tall skinny jars of licorice and mint flavored gum.

Between the two of them, they ended up with a bag the size of a watermelon, just as round and full, of candy. Ronan shoveled jellybeans into the bag like it was his job - an uneven distribution of cherry and blueberry and lemon and lime, but not orange because, as Ronan announced while bypassing the orange and tangerine and mango jars, "synthetic orange is shit." Adam picked out a few different kinds of taffies, some braided licorice, and a cinnamon muffin that he intended to save for breakfast the next day.

In one of the drawers at the Barns, Adam found a candy thermometer that also doubled as a straw. Shortly after he and Ronan started sleeping together, both literally and suggestively, Adam stole Ronan's phone and looked up recipes to make candy, reading them while he danced his hand over Ronan's back because he could. He made marshmallows on Ronan's last birthday, surprising him and feeding them to him in bed, trading sugary kisses all night and all morning because Ronan couldn't sleep. Adam had copied down a few notes about homemade candy but he hadn't done much more with it. Especially since Opal couldn't just walk into a dentist office.

They left the candy store with broad smiles and wandered down the street. Either their dinner, pizza much fancier than Ninos, with mushroom, sausage, peppers, and half olive for Adam, or the incredible amount of candy they'd already eaten, or their current location put both of their stomachs in a twist. The day had been activities that all involved eating somehow, Adam pointed out, and Ronan only grinned and said eating was his favorite activity. They decided to do a loop of the shopping center nearby and were drawn into a little shop by the smell of cranberries and a sign that promised incredible discounts on everything except wreaths and live plants.

Being later in the evening on a not too hot day with several fairs going on in towns not incredibly far away, they were the only one there besides the middle aged woman behind the counter with the rusty cash register wearing a long shawl. She watched Ronan cautiously, seeing the edges of his dark tattoo on the back of his neck. She softened as soon as Adam greeted her kindly and offered her some of the raspberry candies that Ronan didn't want.

"That was nice." Ronan commented when Adam returned to his side, holding a painted pinecone.

"Can't help it. I'm feeling generous. Sweet as sugar. We should do this with Opal." He shook the pinecone a little. A few specks of glitter fell onto the floor, more sticking to Adam's fingertips, which he wiped on his pants where they stuck and sparkled in the right light.

"She'd eat it."

Ronan leaned over a glass case with jewelry in it, not unlike the dream he had before Gansey got engaged. There were rings and handmade necklaces, rare stones and beautiful inexpensive stones, hourglasses with colored sand, old fountain pens, leather-bound journals that would have made Gansey whip out his wallet. Ronan leaned in close and Adam rejoined him holding a plain wristwatch - an inelegant thing, practical, but perfect in design and functionality - not unlike Adam himself, Ronan thought, though he immediately felt dumb for thinking so. Adam was more than that.

"I may have changed my mind about presents."

Ronan took the watch and set it on the counter before the woman. Adam bit his lip, blushing while Ronan carelessly swiped his card, waiting while the woman wrapped the watch as if it were as delicate as crystal and put it in a small bag. They walked back outside, towards the BMW parked on the street. The meter ticked down the last ten minutes while Adam and Ronan sat on the hood and ate jellybeans, playing I-spy, until it was almost too dark to see.

Getting back in the car, ready to go home, Ronan took Adam's hand. He slipped the watch onto Adam's wrist and gave his hand a squeeze. Adam's heart stuttered.

"I hope you like it." Ronan said, turning the key. "You did pick it out."

"Thank you." 

Adam stopped Ronan from shifting by leaning across the console and landing a long kiss on his mouth. Ronan hummed.

"Two decades of life. How do you feel?"

There wasn't a word to describe how Adam felt. He was happy. But he was more than that. He was alive and content and in love and satiated and he couldn't think of a better way for the day to have gone.

He didn't answer Ronan's question - only kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy - it's been a while. It's hard to get back into this story- this chapter still feels choppy to me but it's fine. I'm gonna try and update more regularly, maybe have this done by the end of the year but who knows! Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

July was a dream. 

There was no better way to explain it. Ronan, a dreamer, knew best. The weather was sunny and warm. On days it was too hot, the three wandered the woods for a swimming hole with a rope swing and soft, sandy beaches where Adam build intricate sand castles and Opal tried to catch fish with her bare hands. 

Ronan smartly brought a small fishing pole with him one time and Opal managed to snag his bracelets on the hook, ripping one of them and leaving him with a jagged cut on the back of his hand. She caught a shimmery silver fish with big eyes and a lot of bones - she knew this because within three seconds of pulling it out of the water, she bit into it. Ronan snatched both the fish and pole from her hands, throwing what was left of the fish back in the water, holding the pole high above his head where she couldn't reach, even if she jumped. Adam made her spit out the rest of the spiny bones and grilled salmon for dinner.

Other cloudy days, they walked down the lane to the main highway and looked for good puddles to jump in and to catch frogs in. She chased everything that moved outside and begged for rides on Ronan and Adam's shoulders, which became easier to do as Adam had started lifting weights with Ronan more often. He had bulked up, his skinny frame becoming toned with muscle, so much so that Ronan took to touching it whenever he could, for whatever reason he could think of. 

Apples were beginning to ripen in the early days of August. Opal climbed trees and chewed through branches and dropped them where Adam and Ronan picked them off the stems and filled baskets. Adam took a basket to work each day and came back with a pocketful of dollar bills because, apparently, they were the best damn apples anywhere. 

"Just wait until pumpkins finish up." Ronan said, wiping his forehead on his arm.

He was braced in a plank position between sets of pushups, his back straight and his feet together. Adam was watching and counting for him, admiring his muscles and pretending to wipe down the counter. It was covered in sawdust because Ronan had found a huge branch in the yard, fallen from a storm, and he had shaped it into a set of wind chimes with a drill, some twine, several well placed screws and a large washer that, when struck, echoed a perfect E flat. He hung it on the porch and Opal jumped to hit the pieces together every time she walked past it.

"You're more a farmer every day. You didn't sell pumpkins last year."

"Well, someone decided to try and eat every last one of them and I think she's forgotten we need them for pie."

Adam grinned down. "We? I didn't know it was a group effort."

"Shut up. Burning one cake doesn't count." 

"You have six left."

Ronan grunted and did one pushup. "My arms are on fire."

"Five."

"Jesus, Parrish."

Adam waited, retying his boots while glancing out the open barn door. Clouds rolled in on the breeze, hiding the sun. While Ronan swore through the last of his set, Adam stood up.  
Dizziness wasn't quite the right word for it. He was aware of his feet balanced on the dusty floor, the smell of Ronan's sweat, the feel of his clothes on his skin. There were concerned whispers, soft and gentle, too murmured to be intelligible. He was aware of his breath, slow and easy, his eyes drifting out of focus, Ronan saying his name. Ronan coming close. Ronan touching his face. 

Adam's fair eyebrows lifted, his eyes blinking comically, like he was trying to stay awake. "Ronan."

"What's happening?"

"Nothing. Stood up too fast." Adam shook his head and touched Ronan's arm. "What were you saying?"

There was a tense moment. Ronan hadn't said anything but curses and Opal didn't even know how to whisper it seemed. 

"You need to eat more. What do you want?"

Ronan flung his arm around Adam's shoulders and they walked back towards the house. "I want you to shower. You smell."

"So do you. Like grass." Ronan stopped them, burying his nose into Adam's hair, his fingers combing out dead leaves that had somehow gotten tangled in. He inhaled and leaned close to Adam's good ear, whispering, "You give me allergies."

Adam shoved him away, laughing. Ronan wasn't allergic to anything and they both knew it. Opal, surprisingly, got rashes on her skin when she wore certain pieces of jewelry for too long. Nickel was the cause, Declan determined. One occasion when Ronan and Adam wanted a night to themselves, Declan and Ashley took Opal and dressed up and wore clip on earrings and bracelets that were too big. Opal and Declan both blistered with patches of red and took turns rubbing lotion on their wrists and earlobes while Ashley tried to calm Ronan down on the phone.

"I'm making bacon. Do you want some?" Ronan announced, digging out a frying pan.

"All of it. None for Opal." Adam teased as Opal skipped into the room, holding a book. She made a face at Adam and gave her best puppy-dog eyes to Ronan.

"You can have half. And I'll have the other half." Ronan smirked.

Opal's face dropped. She and Adam had been working a lot with fractions in addition to their nightly reading. "Wait, Kerah," she started, and seeing the giant package of bacon he withdrew from the fridge, she stopped herself.

She had known Ronan's eating habits for a long time, and even he couldn't finish a quarter of the package - even with Adam's help. But her forehead hadn't smoothed and soon Adam was before her, checking her skin for a fever.

"Do you feel it, Adam?" She whispered into his hand, holding tightly to his wrist. 

He blinked at her and combed his fingers through his hair. "Feel what?"

Behind them, Ronan swore and stuck his finger into his mouth. Bacon sizzled and steamed and Opal chose not to elaborate. Instead, she opened her book and stared at the words.

They ate in the familiar quiet, letting the sun come in through the freshly cleaned windows. For hours in the afternoon the day before, Ronan and Adam were on ladders with spray bottles of Niall's dreamed cleaner that would instantly remove any stain from any surface that wasn't carpet. Opal chased the rabbits out of the garden and snuck inside to the pan of cookies Adam had baked the week before and stole a few when she was sure they were busy.

Soon, Adam was looking at the clock more than he was his plate and Ronan kicked him under the table. "I've got time. It's a short shift anyway." He shoved the last strips of bacon in his mouth and went to clean himself up.

Opal helped dry dishes, still eerily silent and calm for her usual nature. She followed Ronan around the house, helping him pick up stray clothes that had dropped out of the laundry basket, gathering all her toys and putting them back in her room, and finally hugging Adam goodbye.

"Have a good day at work." Ronan said with a wink, tugging on the collar of Adam's coveralls. They kissed quickly, and, while they were distracted, Opal put a handful of pebbles into Adam's pocket before he left. Her fingernails were dirty and her own pockets were muddy. She picked at them on the porch. Ronan leaned on the rail, folding his hands together, and rocking on his heels.

The shitbox exploded with noise and rumbled down the lane toward the highway and soon enough, Ronan looked at Opal under his arm.

"What's wrong, kiddo?"

Her nose wrinkled and she only came to his side and wrapped her arms around his hips, hiding her face in his sweaty tank. She wasn't crying. Ronan hadn't seen her act this strangely since she had accidentally knocked a vase off the mantle in the basement last year. Chalky black dust got everywhere and she had done everything she possibly could to keep him from finding out. When he did, he was upset. Aurora had briefly gotten into painting and her vases were the most beautiful things Ronan had ever seen. The dust was the ashes of a family dog, the one his sons never knew, or so Niall said. And Ronan had swept up the mess without complaint while Opal watched with watery eyes, eating ice cream on the stairs because he didn't want her to feel bad.

"Want to go for a walk?" He spread his palm across her back and she clutched him a little tighter, shaking her head. "Want to color? Watch a movie?"

She denied every suggestion including practicing being a flower girl at Gansey's wedding, now less than two weeks away. She had a simple cotton dress that she had helped Blue make and had started collecting flower petals from every possible plant and throwing them every possible place.

Ronan was out of ideas. He picked her up and walked back inside. One of her hands grasped for his short hair at the base of his skull and she leaned her head on his shoulder. He carried her to her room, still yellow and green, though the walls were covered with more of her drawings that neither Ronan nor Adam could bring themselves to scrub away.

"I'm going to shower. I'll be back." He told her, watching her pick up one of her dolls and idly touch its hair. She didn't seem sick, but Ronan still made himself hurry.

Minutes later, he flung open the bathroom door and scrambled for a towel. Opal had burrowed herself into the blanket on Adam's side of the bed and she was running her fingers over the seams of the pillows. Ronan held the towel around his waist and dug through the neatly folded pile of laundry for clean clothes. He dressed and brushed his teeth and sat next to her.

"Did you sleep?" She asked, curiosity lifting her tone. "At night?"

Ronan frowned and laid down beside her. The curtain muted the sunlight and though it was still early, the room was dim. "No." In fact, he spent most of the night petting Chainsaw and listening to the radio, occasionally dusting the accessible surfaces of the house.

"Did you want to?" She asked, just as soft, just as genuine.

Ronan pulled the blanket over himself and stuck his arm under the pillow to prop it up. "Yes."

"Can we nap? And you can sleep?"

"We can try."

And Ronan closed his eyes.

-

Ronan thought he was crazy. Of all the places he could have dreamed, he ended up at a hat store. But there was something not quite right. None of the hats fit and if he picked one up and held it for too long, it disintegrated into a greasy mess in his hands. He was surprised to have fallen asleep at all.

When he woke, Opal was staring at him, her wide eyes trained on his, unblinking until he mumbled a soft swear. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and sat up.

"Do you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

While Opal tried to find words, Adam had returned from his shift and wandered up the stairs. His tense shoulders softened at the sight of them and he crawled onto Opal's other side with a dramatic huff that made her smile a little.

"How was work?" Ronan asked, sneaking his foot between Adam's knees. Adam grabbed for the blanket and scooted in closer, wrapping them all together in a heap.

"Fine. Henry came by briefly, asked if we sent in the RSVP to the wedding." He looked pointedly at Ronan - the card was pinned to the refrigerator for nearly a week now and it had only disappeared recently.

"We're not missing it. They know that. It's a formality."

"It's also soon."

The wedding was to be very informal and very small. They would arrive at the courthouse early in the morning to sign the documents and then take a leisurely drive all around the state until they would return for an early dinner, a public exchange of written vows, and evening celebration with family and friends. Forty people, tops, Gansey promised, and no publicity.

"I'll call them for sure. And we'll figure it out. But it's not gonna be a problem."

"Okay." Adam sighed and closed his eyes. Opal shifted between them, two of her fingers lifting to her mouth - she said she wasn't chewing on her nails but Ronan still watched her, even as her other hand came to pet his bristly hair and his afternoon stubble. "Is it just me, or is something off today?"

"What?"

"Today feels weird."

"Yes." Opal mumbled around her fingers.

Ronan met Adam's gaze, wondering. "You can tell me anything." He said seriously.

"I put my underwear on inside out." Ronan announced, just to make Opal smile. Her giggles were much needed and soon all of them were shaking with laughter, and then strengthened when Ronan snorted. His face flushed bright pink and Adam touched his arm.

"Oh come on, I like your laugh."

Ronan put his hand on Adam's, bringing it to his lips for a brief kiss. Adam recoiled.

"What is on your hand?"

Adam leaned up on his elbow and flipped Ronan's palm, smearing through greasy black smudges. "What is this?"

"Oh shit."

"It's shit?"

"No." Ronan's eyes lit up. "I dreamt it."

A beat passed. Opal whispered, "Kerah,"

And Adam stared. "You dreamt it - like you -"

"Yeah. Shit. It has to be. It's Cabeswater."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so writing is going slower than I anticipated. Thanks for sticking with me - you're all lovely


	10. Chapter 10

Adam hated seeing Ronan like this. It was worse than him not sleeping at all, worse than every unnecessary fight he picked, worse than drinking himself into oblivion. The one day where Cabeswater had pulsed with the faintest indication of life had passed and it had been quiet ever since. Opal had settled somewhat, and by settled, she became herself again, fully animated and childlike and eager for whatever adventure Adam offered.

Instead of dreading going to sleep, Ronan cuddled up early, reading with Opal, often falling asleep on her bed and waking up empty handed. It didn't deter him at first. 

"I didn't do it right." He would explain. He would yawn and adjust his pillow and try again. A minute or an hour later, he would repeat. "I didn't do it right."

Adam wrestled with Ronan's struggle, soon finding it unbearable - to see Ronan's heart crushed a bit more every time he opened his eyes. He distracted Ronan from sleeping with caffeine and overly sugared coffee, flavored so uncoffee-like that Ronan didn't even know what it was until he watched Adam prepare it one night before Ronan intended to go to sleep. He distracted Ronan with kisses and sex, for hours on end until Ronan's sweaty skin was flushed and he was shaking and begging Adam not to touch him anymore - after he cleaned up, he was too tired to dream. He distracted Ronan by dragging them all to 300 Fox Way as often as he could, where Maura and Calla drew cards and proclaimed that their lives were to be perfectly ordinary for the time being - no Cabeswater.

Ronan, of course, ignored them.

He ignored them so decisively that it took all the way to Gansey and Blue's wedding day - or, union day, as they'd been calling it because it wasn't actually a wedding - for Adam to hit his limit.

He didn't expect the day to go badly. They were to be at the reception by two o'clock - no later, dressed formally but by no means overdoing it, and no boat shoes. Not that Ronan or Adam owned a pair of boat shoes, other than several of Gansey's forgotten pairs over the years - they didn't fit anyway. Ronan's feet were too big, Adam's too wide - they tried one time, succumbing to their hysterics and clutching their stomachs while calling Gansey to make more fun for themselves. Gansey had angrily driven that night from DC to take them back, but they all ended up sleeping in the living room and in the morning, Gansey made them breakfast. Expired cereal. But it still counted as one of their best memories. 

Adam ironed out pants while Ronan threw ties at him. Adam starched and ironed shirts while Opal wrestled with Ronan and bit his finger, hard enough to leave dark marks around his knuckle. Adam told them to settle down and Opal sat on Ronan's chest, reclining back into his bent knees, singing to her, holding onto her feet and clapping them together, chanting the Murder Squash Song. 

Before their reading time, they went for a walk down the lane, all holding hands, and being swept in whatever direction Opal wanted to go. She nearly caught a frog and hummed along to whatever songs the birds were whistling. Chainsaw hopped around behind them, pulling worms from mud holes and hunting field mice in the overgrown ditches. 

Last summer, Ronan tried to take every kind of cutting tool he could find - mowers, clippers, hedge trimmers, anything - to the golden weeds but he'd returned with such horrible bug bites that he never tried again. He even threw a lit match into the brush, watching with satisfaction as the flame spread, but then it blinked out before any real damage could be done.

Ronan cooked some beef in a pan and Adam seasoned it and they ate tacos on the back deck. Opal bathed herself and read most of the chapter to Adam while Ronan brushed through her hair and scraped her hooves clean, filing them down. Her dress was on a hanger on the back of her door and she fell asleep excited.

"I don't know how she falls asleep so fast." Ronan complained. "Look at the light."

Adam tipped his head, blinking at the yellow lamp. He was on the bed, his head in Ronan's lap, hands folded on his stomach. "You better not make me look surprised all the time."

"I'm trying, but stop fucking moving." Ronan stretched his thumb over Adam's eyebrow and quickly plucked three stray hairs. "Your eyebrows are going to be better than Gansey's. He probably waxed them."

"You're an animal." Adam grinned and Ronan bent over to kiss his forehead. "I don't know that I trust you to do my nose hair."

"You need to do mine and my fucking unibrow. But I think you're good." Ronan wiped the tweezers on a tissue and patted Adam's cheek. 

Adam sat up and turned around, pulling Ronan down into his lap. He ran a finger over the space between Ronan's eyebrows. "I noticed. You sure you're not a wolf?" 

Ronan's eyelashes fluttered and he shifted a little, a slight blush coloring his features. "Make me pretty."

He worked slowly, trying to imagine arcs and telling Ronan to relax when his shoulders grew tight. He slipped one hand under Ronan's chin to tip his face back, his thumb drifting closer and closer to Ronan's lips until it was lightly pressed against the seal.

Ronan opened his mouth.

"I can see up your nose." He said softly. He kissed the pad of Adam's thumb and when Adam's eyes darkened the slightest bit, Ronan licked it. Adam leaned over him to get the shadow of his head out of the way. 

"Any boogers?" He wiped his hand on the comforter and Ronan closed his eyes again. 

"No."

"Stop tensing. Take a deep breath."

"This isn't yoga." 

"Then shut up and relax."

"Yeah?"

"I mean it. I'm gonna stab you by accident if you don't stop wiggling."

Ronan smiled and took a breath. He remained still until Adam was done, so still that Adam didn't want to move. They brushed their teeth and Adam was too tired to instigate anything other than small kisses in the darkness while Ronan tried desperately to reach Cabeswater. 

-

Shortly after Ronan had blinked awake with nothing new, Adam suggested that Ronan try not to force Cabeswater back. It was healing. It needed time.

"It didn't breakup with its girlfriend, Jesus." Ronan flipped over and huffed.

"It was destroyed."

"You felt it. It's back." Ronan stared and Adam set his jaw. "Why aren't you fighting for it? Don't you want it?"

"I don't want to be swept away with false hope." He rubbed his face free of creases from his pillow. "It was a flux."

"Do you want it back - yes or no? Or is this about your pride?"

Adam looked away first, his fingers curling into the sheets. "What?"

"You don't want it back. Because then you'd still have to hold up your end of the sacrifice."

I will be your hands. I will be your eyes.

"Fuck you." He got up, ignoring Ronan's hand reaching for his and let the bathroom door slam shut behind him.

They had to be moving quickly - Adam had gone over the schedule several times. After breakfast, Ronan would take Opal and go pick up Matthew from his summer job. No more than twenty minutes later, Adam would make sure Chainsaw was fed and he was to pick up a few decorations from the garage of 300 Fox Way and bring them to the reception. 

The venue where Adam should have been was decorated simply but eccentrically, in perfect Sargent fashion. He had picked up and delivered the box of colored vases and glass beads to Calla, who was calling orders in her scratchy voice. The covered patio had rows of folding chairs set up, creating a short aisle and tables with different pastel painted tablecloths and ribbons on each one. One corner hosted an open bar, funded by the Gansey family. The other corner hosted what appeared to be a shrine to all of the projects Blue had ever done - from her handmade clothes, to her childhood art projects, and large photos of her attempts to get Gansey to dress any less like a college poster boy.

The venue where Adam currently was standing was locked in a bathroom inside the atrium. He'd avoided all of the Gansey family and most of the Lynch family and all but one of the Sargent household unit. Maura caught his arm in passing and after looking too deeply in his eyes and a comforting hand straightening his suit jacket, Adam made a lame excuse and shut himself in the bathroom. 

Ronan hadn't said a word to him after their tussle. His perfectly shaped eyebrows were drawn together, his lips nearly in their pre-dating sneer of annoyance, his jaw clenched in an almost apology. He was as alive as ever with Opal, getting her excited for her flower-tossing duties. When it was time for them to leave, they didn't kiss goodbye.

Adam told himself he overreacted. He told himself Ronan didn't mean anything by it. He told himself every possible explanation that he shouldn't feel the anger burning through his chest. 

But it didn't work. 

He wanted to be happy for Gansey and Blue. He was - but he wanted to be invested in it, rather than dwelling on Ronan's words. You don't want it back. Gansey and Blue were taking a brief drive in the Pig and were expected to arrive in the next half hour. The final decorations were put in place, and many of Gansey's close relatives had obtained drinks. It wasn't actually a wedding, so it was acceptable. Adam caught bits of their conversation about the economy and some kind of floral boutique that had to do with Helen.

Adam wasn't ready to face Ronan. Cabeswater would have calmed his speeding heartrate and redirected the ache in his chest. His fights with Ronan were few and far between, but intense and emotional and Adam hated them. The last time they fought, it had been when Ronan suggested Adam get rid of the Hondayota and get a new car. It had been a dangerous fight - one that nearly had Adam moving out. But Opal cried and begged him to please read her a story. One with lots of chapters that would take days to read - anything to keep him from leaving. Adam agreed, reconciling with Ronan that night. He kept the shitbox.

He washed his face again and found a few isolated chairs in the second row. Moments later, Ronan cleared his throat. His hands were in his pockets, gazing at Adam's polished shoes. 

"Sorry I'm late. Matthew wasn't ready. Can I sit?" He stood politely in the aisle, waiting for response. 

Adam scooted over minimally, unafraid.

"Adam," His voice was apologetic but was too loud for sincerity.

"There's enough room for both of us." Adam blinked up at Ronan. 

"I don't want to fight with you." Ronan said, sitting down. He pulled his knees together so they only touched at their elbows.

Adam turned around sharply. "Where's Opal?"

"She's at the back, making the rounds with the witches." Ronan leaned forward and folded his hands together. "I did the dishes. After you left."

For a brief moment, Adam considered not saying anything. But Ronan's ears were dark red and his hands were subtly trembling. Ronan had pride too. Adam couldn't be rude. "Thanks." 

"Come on, don't be mad at me." 

Adam glared. "I have to be-" and Ronan looked like he wanted to interrupt and ask why but Adam made a fist on his knee. "You were really freaking rude."

"Freaking? Really, Parrish?"

"This is like church. God is watching."

"Listen, my priest is coming only because Gansey's mom wanted me to invite him so they could get a picture for the republicans." Ronan looked around at the other guests making their way to available seats. "He's not even here yet."

"Fine. You were really fucking rude and I can be mad."

"Can you at least pretend you don't hate me until tomorrow?" Ronan straightened up and tugged at his tie. Adam nodded once. He would try.

They heard the Pig before they saw it. The rest of their guests, dressed more for an afternoon barbecue than an exchange of vows, found their seats, still chatting. 

"Think of all the kinky car sex they just had." Ronan smirked. Adam was not in a laughing mood, but he elbowed Ronan anyway. "We've probably sat where they've done it, good god."

"To be fair, so have they." Adam mumbled. Ronan's eyes went wide as did a few of their neighbors close enough to hear.

Gansey and Blue arrived with a roar of the Pig's silence. Henry hushed the assembly and lit a few candles on the table at the front, like an altar but with no religious affiliations. Opal threw blue flowers down the aisle and ran straight to the front of the chairs and then, unsure what to do, skipped back and crawled onto Adam's lap. Ronan gave her a high five. 

Henry got up and said a few words about their many roadtrips and all the things he witnessed from the backseat. He described attributes of friendship and an old married couple that he saw while Blue looked shy and Gansey looked like a proud parent. Holding hands, they thanked everyone for coming and, turning to face each other, they declared their commitment.

Adam clapped along with the rest of them, being the first one to stand, Ronan only half a second behind him. Opal squealed and jumped. While the adults grouped off, Gansey grabbed Ronan around the neck, pressing their faces together. His glasses dug into Ronan's cheek and Gansey said something and he swung his other arm around Adam and drew them in together. Blue nudged her way in between Gansey and Adam. Only Gansey was visibly happy crying, ruining the swipe of makeup to hide the dark circles under his eyes. 

"I'm not going to get sappy. But I'm very glad you all are-"

"Oh my god, shut up." Ronan whined, mussing Gansey's combed hair. "You're both a couple of losers, tied into the patriarchy."

Blue kicked Ronan across their circle. The toe of her shoe smacked his knee. "Don't talk to my husband like that."

"Is this what it's going to be like? My husband, my husband,"

This time, Adam smacked him, square in the back. Ronan shut up. "Congratulations." Adam said at the same time, another voice said, "Gansey, my boy."

Untangling, Gansey greeted Roger Mallory, keeping an arm around Blue and pulling her along. Blue touched Adam's fingers and gave them the slightest squeeze before they were too far apart.

Adam took a breath and dropped his hand off Ronan's back. Ronan was back to looking at the floor, scrubbing at something with his shoe. There was an awkward beat. 

"I want Cabeswater back." Adam said. "I do. It's not about my pride and you were a dick for bringing that into it."

Ronan nodded. "I know."

"Opal is trying to eat a tablecloth." Adam tipped his chin to the back of the room where Helen was trying to pull Opal's arm in the most gentle way possible. She was looking desperately for them and Adam couldn't watch her too much longer without stepping in to help.

"I'll get her." Ronan said. He wiped a hand on his forehead and gave the Adam the smallest of smiles. "Are you going to dance with me later?"

"Is Gansey wearing boat shoes?" Adam countered.

Gansey, of course, had ignored the only rule put upon him. He was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway done! Oh my! I can't believe it - thank you for making it this far!  
> I've got a bit of wiggle room in my outline so if there's anything in particular you want to see, drop me a message on tumblr or comment or send a carrier pigeon - you all are amazing and I'm so sorry I'm not updating regularly! I'm not giving up on the story, pinky swear.


	11. Chapter 11

Opal, much to Ronan and Adam's delight, drew more attention than the newlywed couple. Parents flocked to her and brought her snacks and when she hinted that she wanted lemonade, two separate adults handed her cups before Adam even thought of moving. He and Ronan had been standing together on the cement patio near the newest collection of mint plants of various species wrapped with silver and white ribbons. 

Adam wasn't quite over his irritation at Ronan, but he was certainly more agreeable, and more than willing to talk to Ronan over Gansey's family and Declan. Age groups separated out and conversation spread to age-appropriate topics. Henry was wandering group to group, refilling cups and handing out pieces of cake with extra frosting to all of Gansey's relatives deemed too healthy looking. 

Dancing occurred now and then. Gansey and Blue stayed together, swaying back and forth gently, talking quietly. Declan and Ashley demonstrated a classy-looking waltz, probably showing off their dance classes. The Gansey parents embraced and did an old-timey swing dance, which Maura and Calla politely outdid shortly after. In a show of friendship or tolerance, Mr. Richard Gansey II and Maura danced, chatting loudly enough about expectations for grandkids that Blue physically dragged Mr. Gansey away and said she would not be pressured for children and her method of parenting would be determined independently later thank you very much.

Ronan and Adam knew how to dance. Last winter, when they were snowed in, Opal insisted on playing music as loudly as possible in the house. She climbed every piece of furniture she could get on and danced, wiggling her hips and jumping off, often landing on her knees. After she landed particularly hard after jumping down more than half of the basement stairs, Adam promised they would learn to dance. Ronan made hot chocolate and Adam looked up videos on the internet and they stayed up nearly all night learning. When Opal collapsed holding a bag of little marshmallows, Ronan took her place in Adam's arms. Years of Irish dancing competitions gave Ronan a good sense of rhythm and he was fairly flexible. They were by no means bad, but Ronan got distracted too easily when Adam slipped his hands under Ronan's shirt.

"I didn't even see your priest." Adam noted, sipping idly at his soda. "You're sure he was here?"

"I told you, he was invited to appease the republicans and the newspapers." Ronan smirked. He poured out the rest of his water onto a plant and picked up another cup that Calla had handed him and smelled suspiciously like coconut rum.

Adam plucked a few dry leaves from the base of the plants and dropped them on the ground. It may have been the light, but they looked a little less dry when Adam touched them. Ronan didn't comment on this.

They had both been watching Opal work her way through the crowd, collecting food and flowers alike. Adam caught her eye a few times and exchanged a silent warning not to eat the flowers. She obeyed only when she was certain he was watching - stealing mint leaves from Gansey's pockets didn't count.

"Do you want to dance?" Ronan asked, catching Adam staring back at the couples.

Adam lifted one side of his mouth. He straightened up and grabbed Ronan's hand. "Can I have this dance?"

"You're such a nerd." Ronan assumed the position anyway, right there on the patio, away from everyone else.

"I thought it was called manners." Adam said innocently. "Respectfulness."

They laughed to themselves and stepped a little closer. From the distance, the music was nearly inaudible. But it didn't stop Ronan from leaning in close and singing a soft song into Adam's good ear.

"You can be very gentlemanly if you try, you know." Adam said when Ronan finished.

"I'm a gentleman all the time."

Adam slapped his chest. "I mean it."

"Do weddings make you believe in love?" Ronan asked. He batted his eyelashes and pursed his lips until Adam hit him again.

"I'm happy for them. And I'm happy you're here."

Someone led a round of applause inside and they both looked up. They could see Declan taking monster-sized steps with Opal standing on his feet, clutching his hands and laughing. 

"You look nice." Ronan said. "I didn't tell you this morning."

"Amazing what a shower can do. Try it sometime."

Ronan laughed loudly. "Damn, Parrish. That hurts."

"I'm kidding. I think you're beautiful."

They both watched each other for a moment without any thought and it felt like a dream. Adam savored every moment he rendered Ronan speechless, every flush down Ronan's neck he caused. Ronan was frustrating but he was Adam's.

For weeks, they had been purposefully avoiding the topic of Adam's return to school. Even after Adam ordered his textbooks and copied his schedule onto the calendar on the fridge, they didn't talk about it. Adam had prolonged packing and was waiting for his last paycheck of the summer before he would ask Ronan to come shopping with him. 

He didn't want to breach the subject at that time, but it felt unfair when Ronan was nothing but honest and upfront.

"I'm going to drop the pre-law major." Adam announced, looking toward the playground nearby. "And classes start in a little more than two weeks."

Ronan's muscled tensed, his hand squeezing a little too tightly on Adam's hip. "Ok."

"Trent and I are going to room together again. Unless that bothers you,"

"It doesn't bother me." Ronan said quickly. "As long as he keeps his eyes and hands to himself."

Adam quirked an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were jealous."

"He probably sees you naked more than I do during the school year. It's unfair."

"If you would learn how to do the video calls like I told you, maybe we wouldn't have that problem."

"Fuck no. Phone sex is one thing, when videos are involved," he shuddered and Adam laughed. 

Ronan pressed his forehead to Adam's and kissed his cheek. "What if you didn't go back? Just stay with me."

"I can't do that and you know it." He searched Ronan's face and saw that Ronan knew it. 

Their summers and long weekends and holiday breaks were blissful and always too short. It was too easy to forget the rest of the world existed at the Lynch property, but Adam had wanted to get out for as long as he could remember. He wanted college more than anything because it meant freedom - it meant away. But Ronan was home, and though Adam liked school - loved school - he always wanted to come home.

Ronan's lips turned into a pout and Adam poked his cheek. "You and Opal can come visit. For family weekend."

"We're not family."

Neither of them mentioned the fact that Adam hadn't spoken to anyone in his actual family in quite some time. There was the occasional phone call from an uncle near holidays, but it wasn't the same. The last time Adam had been home was over spring break, in March. There was an unusual amount of snow still, and Adam wanted to check in on his mom. He'd always had a hard time cutting all ties with her and Ronan knew better than to comment on it. 

The dog that followed him around the park was still there, its tail happily beating against Adam's leg as he rattled the screen door. No one answered. When he called an hour or so later when he was sure that Ronan and Opal were distracted by a Disney movie, he spoke to his mother for about five minutes.

After hanging up, his hands were shaking so badly that he desperately reached for Cabeswater in his mind. It was, of course, inactive. Maura called him the next day and asked if he was alright, telling from the cards she'd drawn that he was distressed.

"You should still come."

Opal wandered down with a purple cup and she sat on the ground next to the largest of the gifted mint plants. Adam and Ronan went to her and sat on either side. She produced a piece of green chalk from somewhere and started drawing flowers with it. After noticing she was being watched, she pulled two more sticks, one yellow and one gray, and passed them around.

Adam started work on a house and Ronan outlined an elephant. After a few minutes, Calla hobbled down and tapped Ronan on the shoulder, handing him a short glass with clear liquid in it. He drank it in one gulp and gave it back to her. She raised an eyebrow and told him he was cut off for the evening.

Evening had set upon them rather quickly. Either a storm was rolling in or the clouds were exceptionally heavy - by the time guests started to wonder about dinner, it was nearly too dark to see outside. The artwork had expanded into a neighborhood, complete with a zoo, gas station, and flower forest. 

Opal signed her name in her neatest handwriting, thanks to much practice on the walls of her bedroom, and she wandered off in search of more cake.

Ronan clapped his hands free of dust and chalk and found Adam looking at him with a guarded face. "What?"

"Nothing. I think I left the house key on the table."

"If you beat me home, the key is under the mat. Unless Opal moved it."

"Or ate it." He grinned. "I'll probably just follow you. How long are you gonna stay?"

Ronan glanced up at the dwindling crowd. He shrugged a shoulder and Adam nodded. They had never attended a wedding party like this and weren't sure what the protocol was. Aside from their brief gathering, they hadn't even gotten a chance to talk to Blue and Gansey. His family was such a large presence that they were hard to be around without feeling like they had to overcompensate the gloriousness of their lives. Only Helen Gansey didn't give off that feeling, but Ronan caught Adam admiring her figure more than once, and now whenever they saw her, they both chuckled to themselves.

Dinner was served - and soon most of the guests said flourished goodbyes. Gansey and Blue both kept eyeing the parking lot with small smiles, eager to begin their next roadtrip sans Henry. They were planning a quick trip to Canada, less than a week, and the Pig was packed. All their wedding gifts were to be transferred to 300 Fox Way.

Ronan snuck up on Calla when she was gathering centerpieces and folding tablecloths. She said in her smoker voice, "You'll have to load your car with gifts. Adam's too." She glanced warily at the pile in one corner - no doubt expensive and useless items from the richer side of the family. 

He nodded, never complaining to her. He and Calla had a kind of relationship that was a mutual understanding. Her brusqueness and detached sympathy made her easy for him to like. 

Mr. Gray was away at a conference, Maura told Ronan. Unavoidable and likely not a conference, Ronan gathered. He set the box he was holding on the bumper of her car and frowned. 

"He'll be back this Tuesday. You're welcome to come. Henry would like it, I think." She ignored his rolling eyes and shifted some boxes in her trunk. 

Adam came over, carrying a heavy box with Opal helping.

"Would you mind terribly taking all the plants with you?" Maura asked.

Adam blinked at her and Ronan said, "He's got the shitbox, they won't all fit."

"I meant take them all home. Just for a while. We don't have enough window space and we've got cats." 

What she really meant was that Adam was good with plants. It was inexplicable with Cabeswater in its current state, but the truth remained. They did an experiment once - growing a tomato plant in a dark closet, where only Adam opened the door to stand in there with the plant for at least two minutes but no more than twenty. Adam swore he only watered it and didn't carry in a sun lamp with him, but they had fresh tomatoes. They tried it again, growing tulips in the winter. Adam planted a few bulbs right near the house where the ground was warmer and every time before he went inside, he placed his hand on the dirt and after a week tulips grew.

Adam was good at biology. Pre-law was a fine and noble thought, but Adam belonged among life.

"We'll take them." Adam said. He touched Ronan's elbow. "We can move the table in the TV room and put them in front of the window."

"We need to get them there first. How much room do you have?"

"You'll have to take some."

"And take the cake." Maura grinned at them. "I'm already sick of leftovers."

Gansey's family did not eat nearly as much as they anticipated. The food table, if arranged a bit differently, could have been still full, despite Opal continuously sneaking off with a handful of whatever she could grab. Adam had dragged her to the bathroom and made her wash her hands more than three times in the past hour. The corners of her mouth were crusted with frosting and she was happy.

Not too much later, but late enough that Opal was half asleep when she buckled herself in with Adam, they were the last to leave. Adam insisted they sweep the venue one last time and check for any sign that a party had been there. Their cars were packed and Opal was worn out. She had taken as many of the flowers as she could find and had thrown them on the floor of the car, but they both pretended not to notice. She was the flower girl after all.

"So I'll follow you home?" Ronan asked, fingering the keys in his pocket. Adam was leaning against the wall by his side, looking at the flickering light in the hallway. He was holding a forgotten basket of air fresheners from the bathroom.

"You can go first. I don't have a key, remember?" 

"Right." Ronan bumped his hip against Adam's. "Sorry about earlier. This morning I mean."

Adam's breath caught. "Me too."

Before anything else could be said, Ronan leaned over and kissed Adam. "I'm an asshole."

"You are." Adam laughed quietly. "But I lo-"

"You're not supposed to agree with me." Ronan said at the same time, cutting Adam off. He started walking toward the door, missing Adam's startled expression.

"Shut up." Adam recovered. "I like you anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This semester is kicking my butt. But this is finals week and I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done over break. Thanks for sticking with it, everyone!


	12. Chapter 12

"This is weird." Adam commented in the morning when he was sure Ronan was awake.

"What?" He mumbled, burying his nose further into Adam's hair.

Adam shifted a little and Opal made a small noise. Her hair was in knots and one of them would have to distract her while the other brushed it out. She needed a bath first. "I smell flowers."

Ronan inhaled and pressed closer. "It's you."

Adam scoffed and then subtly sniffed his free hand. They were laying in a tangle on the floor, too lazy to part to their respective bed places. Ronan threw some hand-knit blankets on the floor and Opal gathered every pillow she could find and they stayed up well past Opal's bedtime telling stories. Ronan had drifted off last, after he'd shucked his jacket and dress pants in favor of something more suitable for the August heat. The house was warm, but not so much so that they didn't share a large quilt.

But the floral scent was not coming from Adam, or Ronan, or Opal. It wasn't expected from the newly acquired collection of mint plants. They had carried them all in last night on Maura's insistence and even after one night, they looked in better condition. Adam hadn't done anything more than give them a little water and look at them as he fell asleep with Ronan's arm around him.

He felt a little disoriented as he sat up, careful not to disturb Opal. She had eaten too much cake and it took her quite some time to settle enough to sleep, even with Adam telling her stories. Ronan rubbed his eyes and whistled when Adam got up and pulled the curtains closed, eliminating a long strip of sunlight off the wall.

Poking around the plants, Adam picked up the smallest pot and showed it to Ronan.

"I can't see that."

"It's lavender." Adam said, inspecting the pot for a card or a note.

"And?"

"It's out of season."

Ronan inhaled, long and slow. "Plants just love you."

"Ha ha." Adam said dryly. Something prickled in his good ear and he stepped around their mass of blankets to peer out the front window. "Oh my god."

"What?" Ronan said softly, not moving. He threw his arm over his eyes. 

"Henry's here."

"What?" Ronan repeated, with more energy. He kicked his way free and snuck up to the window. "We should hide."

"We're not going to hide, our cars are right there."

"Fuck," Ronan breathed, dropping his forehead to Adam's shoulder. He kissed it briefly.

Adam sighed, touching the lock on the door. "I'll see what he wants."

Before Adam could open the door, though, Ronan tugged him back. "I'll do it for you. We've got a kid that needs her sleep."

Henry was getting to the porch, removing his sunglasses and running a small comb through his hair when Ronan scoffed loud enough to get his attention. 

"Ronan Lynch."

"Two years later, he learns my name. About time."

Henry bumped his fist into Ronan's. It was the only sign of comradery they had and Henry lived for it. "I see you aren't as awake as I'd hoped."

"Awake for what?"

"Teaching me everything you know about football. Or wrestling." He looked up briefly.

Ronan, like most of Lynches, was immune to any kind of flattery not coming from Adam. He was positively indifferent, still trying to figure out how Henry had managed to find the Barns, having only visited with Gansey, the expert navigator.

"I need to impress your brother, you see."

Ronan's eyes narrowed. "Why."

"So he can give me a job. We talked about it yesterday briefly while playing tag with your little one actually. That makes it sound like she's a baby, good lord." He laughed sharply and when Ronan softened at the mention of Opal, Henry shrugged a shoulder. "I'm assuming you actually own a football because I didn't bring one."

It was a reasonable assumption that there was a football on the grounds. Declan and Ronan in their elementary days had begged their parents to join a local peewee team. They spent hours playing in the yard, unexpectedly tackling one another to keep their skills. Niall agreed one morning and as soon as the boys found out it was a flag football game, they quickly lost interest. Declan kept tabs on the Pittsburgh Steelers now and then and Ronan hadn't actively watched a televised football game in his life.

That said, in one of the barns, there were giant nets, suspended high above the ground full of different kinds of sports balls. Opal, while trying to get a purple baseball one day, had gotten stuck in one of the nets, and Ronan teased her about catching her like a wild animal. She laughed and growled at him until he rescued her with a scissor lift. How she got up to the rafters in the first place was still a mystery.

Ronan pointed towards a barn. "That one. Did you eat breakfast?"

"I'm afraid I did. I thought about calling, but I know how you are with phones."

"Adam's here."

They were at a stage in their relationship where if anyone received a text from Ronan, they all knew it was Adam's doing. Half the time calls to Ronan's phone were answered by someone else.

"I didn't think about that." Henry pursed his lips. "I'll meet you over there?"

Ronan nodded. "Give me ten minutes."

The bright look across Henry's face was nearly Gansey-like in its enthusiasm. Though it had been a long time since Gansey had made an expression like that, the similarity squeezed at Ronan's heart. That look was how Ronan pictured Gansey in his mind. Gansey - whose eyes brightened at the mention of Glendower back when it was an adventure, before his life was perilously involved. Gansey - who hadn't looked so happy like that in years.

Well, Ronan corrected, not until yesterday.

"What are you thinking about?" Adam's hand curved around his hip.

"Nothing." Ronan released the bands around his wrist which he had started twisting.

"Don't lie."

"Gansey."

Adam grinned. "What were you thinking about him? Because you're blushing."

Ronan jerked away with a sharp laugh, leading them inside while Henry got to the barn Ronan pointed out. "I was thinking about how happy he looks when he's with Blue."

"He was unusually himself yesterday." Adam commented. He followed Ronan up the stairs to their bedroom.

The bed was still perfectly made because they hadn't slept in it the night before. Adam crawled onto it and stretched his hands behind his head, crossing his ankles. Ronan picked up a pair of dark jeans from the folded pile on a chair. His jaw was tight.

"Am I like that with you?" He asked suddenly.

"Like what?"

"Am I different around you?" He could have been asking it to himself, but Adam had his good ear in Ronan's direction. Ronan looked up. "You don't have to say anything. It's stupid. Henry wants to learn sports, so we'll be out by the third barn in the field."

Adam's face fell a little and Ronan was relieved at the change in subject. "What kind of sports?"

"He said football. I doubt he's ever played catch before." Ronan smirked, stripping and dressing while Adam watched.

"He's probably lonely without Gansey and Blue." Adam mused. 

For their honeymoon, the newlyweds were headed to Canada. They promised to call when they arrived safely and when they were back at 300 Fox Way to collect their gifts. Henry was left out of these plans, a fact which they all tried to pretend that the hurt on his face was not nearly as drastic as they knew it was.

Ronan sat on the bed, his back to Adam, to put on a pair of black ankle socks. He shouted briefly when Chainsaw popped out from under the bed and pecked at his toes. She hopped around with a cheap bead necklace tangled around her feet, making small chirps. She squawked when Adam caught her and carefully freed her. Flapping around, she disrupted the neat stack of tarot cards Adam had on his nightstand. 

Looking over his shoulder, Ronan tried not to frown at the gentle handling of the cards. It was a treasured item from Persephone, Ronan reminded himself. 

Unaware Ronan was watching, Adam shuffled the cards. He spread them across the comforter to count them.

"How many?"

"Seventy eight." Adam replied automatically, stooping to pick up a missing card.

The Magician.

Ronan touched a finger on the last few, parting them from the rest of the deck. "No. How many do you draw?"

"It depends." Adam hesitated. But Ronan wasn't as guarded as he usually was around the cards.

He pushed the cards back and brought his legs up, sitting comfortably now. "Reshuffle."

Adam did as he was asked. He shook a wave of hair off his forehead and laid the cards out in three neat rows.

"Pick one."

"Just one?" Ronan glanced up.

"For now. I'd have to charge you for any more." He smiled when Ronan swatted him.

The skepticism settled again. Catholicism, no matter how non-believing or out of practice Ronan was, did not get along well with tarot. 

Adam, then, was not surprised when Ronan suddenly dropped his hand, hovering low over the rows as if he was about to touch just one. Ronan leaned over the spread and kissed Adam hard on the mouth.

"I should go find Henry." He said.

Adam hummed, opening his eyes when the bed shifted without Ronan's weight on it. "Ok. Have fun."

Pausing in the doorway, Ronan touched his lips. "Adam. I don't think I can," he waved his hand at the bed. "With all that stuff. I'm not-"

"It's fine." Adam interrupted calmly. "I'll still be here when you're ready."

Henry occupied himself with petting a few of the sheep that were in the barns. They were oddly sluggish, slow to lift their heads when Henry reached to touch them, recoiled, and then talked himself into actually petting them. They weren't unfriendly - the dreams Niall had to create them were never unpleasant. Henry didn't know that of course, but he could sense that everything on the property was made for the purpose of being a home to his family.

Ronan moved some things around to announce his presence. Among them, he picked up a worn football, fitting his fingers over the laces. He slapped it to get Henry to look at him and then threw it.

Henry caught it clumsily. "Thank you."

"Don’t thank me for throwing the ball." Ronan said. "The only friendliness is helping someone up after you tackle them, and even that's optional."

Henry lobbed the ball back underhanded, wiping his palms on his legs.

"Seriously?" Ronan caught the ball and stalked out of the barn.

They were spaced a fair distance apart, after Ronan told Henry to stay put and played catch to start. Adam could see them from the porch, where he worked his way through a pot of coffee with vanilla creamer. Opal woke eventually and bathed herself, changing into a soft flannel dress that Blue sewed pockets into. Naturally, she kept small rocks she liked in them and handed them out like tokens. 

Soon, Ronan was telling Henry to run a short distance and then catch. Henry wasn't quite dressed for the role, in a polo, probably borrowed or stolen from Gansey. But he wasn't unwilling to run when Ronan directed. 

They took a small break to pick some oranges and Ronan was talking more than throwing. Adam couldn't hear all the words, but he assumed they were listing teams and a few important players.

When they came up to the porch, Ronan was sweating. He lifted the bottom of his shirt and wiped his forehead. Adam stared at the small trail of hair leading downward while it was visible and Ronan caught him. He winked and licked his lip.

Opal presented Henry with a rock, which he took with a suspicious look to Adam. She danced off and Adam called after her to brush her hair. 

"When do I get to tackle you?"

"When you gain about five inches and thirty pounds."

Henry laughed and looked like he was considering an ambush. He thought better of it when Ronan took off his shirt and got serious. The August heat was oppressive and there was no wind to lighten it.

"I should get a buzzcut." Henry panted, taking a small headband out of his pocket and using it to hold his bangs back. He'd obviously worn it before and was obviously displeased at ruining his hair in such a way. "Do you like it?"

Ronan scratched his own head, thankful he'd buzzed it last week. "You sure you're head isn't too big for that?"

"Ha ha."

"When you tackle, always go for the legs. You want to knock off the center of gravity." Ronan gestured from his hips to his knees. "I doubt Declan will tackle you, but that's the idea."

"Shouldn't I practice?"

"You couldn't take me down. Sorry bud."

Henry leapt at Ronan, hanging all of his weight at Ronan's neck and waist. Ronan didn't stumble. He turned his head and Henry flushed with embarrassment. 

"I wasn't expecting you to be so tall." His legs slipped down and he straightened his shirt. "Can I try with a running start? Just once?"

Ronan rolled his eyes. "Once."

Henry backed up and gave himself a short pep talk. He ran at Ronan and jumped, colliding hard with his side.

Ronan either wasn't braced right or had the wrong footing, but he went down. Henry grunted in pain and Ronan smiled.

"You're a lot more muscle than I expected."

"I work out."

Henry wrestled himself up to sit low on Ronan's stomach. "Well, who's the one on the ground now? But you should teach me how to work out too. I don't know how to use any of those fancy machines."

"Get off me," Ronan laughed again, accepting Henry's hand. 

Adam was walking over with two halves of a sandwich. "Are you okay?"

"I'm feeling great." Henry said, puffing out his chest.

"I hit my head."

Henry's face fell. "Oh my god."

"I'm fine."

"Because I'll drive you to the hospital." Adam said seriously. He moved to stand under Ronan's arm, not flinching at the sweaty heat in his armpit.

"I'm fine." Ronan nudged his nose into Adam's hair. "May need some TLC later though."

Having Henry over the rest of the day wasn't horrible. There was more sweat than Henry expected, so he borrowed clothes while Ronan did laundry. He wasn't bad company at all - it was merely unusual without Gansey or Blue. Opal grew more comfortable with him as the day went on, occasionally interrupting their game to introduce one of her own.

He played along and even allowed her to practice her nail painting skills before he politely excused himself to leave.

The rest of the night was quiet. Adam and Opal read their books and Ronan did some work cleaning out the attic.

"Is your head alright? It looked like Henry hit you hard." Adam asked after he was sure Opal was asleep. He was lying on top of the blankets, trying to get comfortable while Ronan folded clean clothes in front of their dresser. He was decidedly ignoring the two plates stained with leftover wedding cake and frosting that they'd snuck up and eaten and didn't want to take down to wash. That and the stack of tarot cards next to them.

"I'll live." Ronan stuffed a pile into a drawer and forced it closed with his knee. With his back turned, he flipped the top card of the deck. The Lovers. Ronan replaced the card and kicked away the laundry basket, falling into Adam's open arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lordy I am bad at this updating thing - remember when I thought I was going to have this finished by the end of 2016 lol


	13. Chapter 13

Adam's last day at the mechanic's for the summer was a full ten hour shift. He'd grudgingly gotten out of bed before the sun came up and grudgingly got back into bed when the shitbox wouldn't start. So he asked Ronan to take him and Ronan did. No one else was there, but Adam was granted keys to the back door and he said he'd find a ride home in time for dinner. Over the summer, since that first burned lasagna, Ronan had progressed enough that he didn't need Adam's constant supervision to ensure a not overcooked meal. 

In fact, Ronan was planning on making pizza after the success of his last dinner where Opal actually ate the vegetables on top without complaint. She then also tried to take a bite out of the table, but Adam caught her before her teeth could do any damage.

Opal's teeth were becoming quite a concern. No one was exactly sure what to do about a dentist for her, but she didn't seem to need one. Her teeth were sharp and strong and close enough to white and she never complained about them hurting. Long ago, after she'd been pulled from a dream, she'd gotten into a nasty habit of sharpening her teeth on stones she found out in the yard and then chewing the stones into small enough pieces, and then eating them. Ronan at the time had no clue what the rules were, whether he was expected to treat her like a child or like a pet, and he had no idea how to correct the behavior in a proper way.

In the end, it was Adam who devised a solution. Adam suggested that instead of eating the rocks, she instead carry them to what he called the stone pit - a sandy strip not too far away into the woods near a small creek, and move them there. Every week, Ronan would check, and if he was happy with the growth, she would get an extra dessert. Not too much later, the entire yard was stone-free and Opal had broken the habit.

"Take that out of your mouth." Ronan snapped.

She froze. Her latest obsession was buttons. Not eating them, Adam didn't think, but sucking on them. She was fond of the big wooden ones plucked off of the outdated sweaters of Niall's youth.

In the last week alone, as Adam was getting closer and closer to leaving for school, she'd been acting out. It started with refusing to eat dinner, then staying up past her bed time. More than one occasion, Ronan heard her swearing under her breath at him for making her do chores. Chores she'd willingly done before without being asked. She fought when he brushed her hair and in the final straw for Ronan, she snatched a pair of scissors from Declan's room and cut all her hair to hang halfway down her ears.

Adam was unable to keep a straight face when he found her, so he deferred to Ronan, who grounded her. No dessert, no TV, and extra chores.

He'd never had to ground her before.

She spat out the buttons at him and crossed her arms. "Kerah?" She asked, trying her best doe eyes. It worked surprisingly well, but she'd developed an attitude that Ronan was not tolerant of.

"What?"

"When is Adam leaving?"

Ronan set down a stack of binders on the kitchen table. "In a few days."

She was quiet and brooding the rest of the morning until the phone rang. They looked at each other and eventually, Opal sighed and got a stool to reach the phone on the wall.

"Hello?"

It was Adam. There wasn't a huge list of people who had the number for the Barns, but it was still suspicious when anyone called it.

"He wants to talk to you." She said, dropping the phone on the counter. She threw herself onto the couch, burying her face into a pillow.

"So I'm the last one here." Adam started, sounding weary. 

"Stay there. I'm coming to get you."

"Not going anywhere." Adam chided lightly. "I'll keep the lights on for a while, someone just pulled in. I'll book them for tomorrow."

Ronan nodded. "I won't have dinner ready for a while." He glanced at the clock on the microwave and grabbed for his keys. They weren't on the counter where he usually kept them.

Opal made a noise. She'd taken his keys and was spitting on them.

"Dammit, Opal." He lunged for her, saying into the phone, "I'll be there in a minute." He hung up and slammed the receiver back into its hook.

Opal was on her feet. She dangled the keys in one hand, holding the other out in a short defense. Ronan reached for the keys, grimacing at the slobber, and she ducked past him, saying, "I'll go to my room, don't worry."

"Try not to burn the house down. I'll be back in forty minutes." He said, fighting to keep his tone civil. 

The truth was he wanted to fight something. He knew Adam was leaving, and he suspected that knowledge was exactly what was throwing off the dynamic of the house. The only peace was when they were all together, squished onto a couch or a bed or playing a game at the table. 

If Ronan was in a different place in his life, he would have provoked Declan enough for a fight, or scoured the streets late at night for a race. But this feeling would soon pass. When Adam went back to school, it would take a couple days for Ronan and Opal to get used to his absence, and then they would be okay. Opal had grown up so much this summer, and was not as easily distracted as she had been.

Ronan pulled into the lot of the mechanic's and was surprised. Adam and Declan were in the open door of the garage, leaning over the hood of a shiny black Jeep. Declan was in a suit jacket and tie, Ashley nowhere in sight. Ronan hadn't heard any updates on whether or not Henry had gotten a job, but he did leave pieces of an apple crumble cake on their porch one morning for no discernible reason.

They both turned around when Ronan got out of the car. He went straight for them, putting himself between them. Declan backed away and Adam wiped his dirty fingers on a towel.

"Good to see you, Ronan." Declan said, gripping Ronan's shoulder hard. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Car trouble." He scratched at his beard, glancing at Adam. "Luckily this place was still open."

Adam had a few final closing things to do since Declan had walked in just as Adam got off the phone with Ronan. The two spoke about nothing important, each hiding fists in their pockets. Ronan asked if he would need a ride out of civility and Declan shook his head. Moments later a cab arrived. 

In the drive home, Adam turned down the volume for the radio, putting his hand on Ronan's forearm. "You weren't as pissy to see Declan."

Ronan tensed and didn't reply.

"Thanks for coming to get me."

"I was in the neighborhood." Ronan smirked.

"Shut up, you were at home." Adam's fingers squeezed. "But I think the shitbox is about done for."

"Praise the lord, finally. Are you going to let me buy you a car?"

Adam looked out the window, putting his bad ear fully to Ronan. He smelled like grease and sweat. "Cross my heart, hope to die. I'll need one eventually." He shrugged, trying not to sound like he expected Ronan to pay. His own wallet wasn't empty, but he still resisted Ronan's charity. Adam still frowned. "You didn't have to phrase it like that." 

"How should I have said it?"

"I'm too tired to think. I was the only one scheduled for today. I don't know who made it, but they messed up."

"First one there and the last to leave. You're the best employee they've got." Ronan stopped at a stop sign. 

There was no traffic, so Adam didn't feel guilty when he tugged Ronan's hand off the shift and caught Ronan's lips with his own. There was a sound of surprise, the scratch of a moving seatbelt, the dull hum of the idling engine.

"This is dangerous while we're not parked." Ronan mumbled.

Adam pulled back, adjusting in his seat. "You're right. Opal's waiting." He reclicked his seatbelt and gestured to the empty road. "Look both ways."

Adam sat in smug satisfaction the rest of the way home. He scandalously kept his hands to himself, too high on his thighs, too close the bare skin of his stomach that had Ronan sneaking the smallest glances. Before getting out of the car, he shimmied out of his overalls, saying he was headed straight for the shower and that Ronan was allowed to join him if he wanted to.

"What about dinner?" Ronan said dumbly as Adam got out.

It took every ounce of will power to stay in the kitchen and make pizza as he'd originally planned. Opal was in a better mood now that Adam was home. While he was out, it was obvious she had not stayed in her room, but had restacked the binders on the table in rainbow order and the letter-shaped magnets on the fridge spelled out a list of words in the language only she knew. That and there were fresh orange rinds on top of the garbage can that Chainsaw was digging through.

It was hard to be upset with her when she was quiet. 

It was even harder when Adam was there.

They were speaking in what sounded like Latin, but not as soft as he knew it could be. Her laughter bubbled up and she squeaked, taking hold of three of Adam's fingers for balance as they descended the stairs.

"What are you two laughing at?" Ronan said, setting a timer.

"Nothing." Adam said graciously. He cleared the table and Opal got out silverware and napkins.

Ronan narrowed his eyes. "You're acting very suspicious."

"Nothing to worry about." Adam kissed Ronan's nose and peered through the oven window. "What kind of pizza?"

"I made your favorite." 

"Adam's favorite or my favorite?" Opal giggled, grabbing hold of his hand. All of the tension between them melted. He squeezed her fingers and she passed a smooth stone into his palm.

He ruffled her hair and reclipped a barrette that was falling out. Since she had rebelliously cut her hair, it was now constantly in her eyes, which she remedied with Blue's borrowed clips and large rubber bands that could fit around her head.

"Adam's favorite. You'll get your favorite when you leave for college."

She groaned. "That's like a million years away though."

Ronan shushed her she rolled her eyes. 

Adam spotted the can of olives on the counter. He picked a stray piece and ate it quickly. "Did you put extra cheese on it?"

"I used all of the cheese I could find." Ronan replied.

Opal clapped and asked if they could watch a movie.

"Oh, no," Adam said dramatically. It was too loud for his usual tone and Ronan immediately was suspicious. "I think a stage production would be much better."

"Yes," She rehearsed. "A live performance."

"Agreed. Good choice, Opal. But what show? And what actor?"

"I will burn this pizza if you two don't stop," Ronan threatened. It was a bluff, though.

They didn't gang up on him very often, and it was usually to get him to make a fool of himself. They decided on Beauty and the Beast, with all of the parts played by Ronan Lynch, the one-man actor. 

Like a good sport, he made a list of necessary items while they ate. Then Opal washed and dried the dishes and the house was searched for props. It was lucky that Niall and Ronan were a bit like hoarders, because everything that Ronan listed they found.

All the furniture was moved to the side of the room, leaving the plastic tote of props within easy reach of the cleared area. A small table with one of Opal's flower hair clips under a tall glass pitcher sat off to one side. Adam served dessert of ice cream, and he and Opal waited patiently on the couch.

They clapped and hooted when the lights switched on and Ronan went to the center of the room carrying a handbag with a loaf of bread sticking out of it, and a blue towel wrapped around his waist. Without any shame, he started singing, "Little town, it's a quiet village,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect updates this quickly - I don't know how this happened. Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

Gansey and Blue returned from their honeymoon in a flurry of gifts. They collected the flowers that had flourished under the back window at the Barns and Adam's care, and told the proper stories of the wildlife they'd seen, the Pig's breakdowns, and Gansey's discovery of a slight fear of waterfalls.

"All of the senses are overwhelmed, Blue." He said indignantly over dinner. "I don't like to be caught off guard."

Ronan proceeded to kick him under the table and he yelped. He had no response, but he shook a finger in Ronan's direction and elbowed him back.

They parted early, knowing Adam would be double checking everything on his list, and packing his few last minute things. It was possible to miss the humble collection of Adam's college things, gathered in the front room. A tub of clothes, several unmarked boxes of desk supplies and general housewares, an overstuffed backpack. He'd carefully carried everything down and resorted through it, making notes of errands he would have to run once he got back to campus. Gansey and Blue had enough of their own sorting to do, but they hadn't seen Henry in quite some time and were eager to get back to their routine.

Ronan said something and touched Adam's knee.

"What?" Adam looked up from the big mixing bowl in his lap. He intended to scry for a few minutes, just to be sure that Cabeswater was still inactive. Ronan insisted he not try to hide it since they were both interested in what they would find out. 

"I asked why there's a signed check from Declan on the dresser."

Adam thought for a moment, coming back to himself like waking from a dream. "For the car he dropped off. He gave Ashley's name for the invoice, and paid for it in full. I was going to give the check back to him today, but he didn't stop by."

Getting up to his elbows, Ronan frowned. "You were expecting him today?"

"I told him to come get it before I left, but he didn't. It's not a big deal, just give it back next time you see him."

"So when he leaves signed checks laying around for anyone to pick up and write millions of dollars for, it's not a problem. But when I drop a thousand on a tattoo, it's the end of the fucking world." Ronan rolled his eyes and Adam's jaw fell open.

"He gave it to me. I think to write myself a tip since he came in last minute. It wasn't just lying around." Adam picked a stray flower petal out of the bowl and let it flutter onto Ronan's stomach. "I don't want to start shit on my last day here, but just give it back to him. Tell him thanks but no thanks."

Neither wanted to argue further, being tired and knowing Adam was in his final hours.

Adam was getting lost looking at the bowl, his breath coming in deep and slow. His sweatpants were Ronan's and Ronan knew for a fact that there was nothing else on him. After their guests left, taking Opal on a final adventure to get Henry's homemade ice cream, they hadn't left the bed.

They tried not to hurry through their attentions. They had precious little time and they both were dreading the morning when Adam would make the final transfer of his things to the BMW. It seemed appropriate that they didn't speak about tomorrow. In fact they hardly spoke at all outside of soft commands and appreciative noises.

"I couldn't see anything." Adam said after a moment. He got up and poured the water out into the bathroom sink. When he returned, Ronan had flipped onto his stomach and propped a pillow under his hips. "You're gonna miss me."

"Gonna miss your dick. I really love," Ronan's face flushed dark red, looking back at Adam under his arm, "your dick." He finished lamely.

Adam settled between Ronan's legs, running his fingers from the back of Ronan's knees to the bottom curls of the tattoo. Ronan shivered. 

"Come on, Parrish." He challenged. "Make me forget how to walk."

The morning arrived too early and Ronan did not speed at all on the way to Adam's college. He wanted to savor every last second, and it had him glancing nervously at every available clock, which was limited to the digital one on the BMW radio and the one around Adam's wrist. The roads were no trouble, as Adam wanted to get settled early enough to catch lunch with one of the professors he was eager to have again. 

Opal presented him with a hand-painted potted plant before they left. She didn't cry but she looked like she wanted to - Blue promised to keep her busy and to have her room cleaned by the time Ronan would return. She had tucked smooth stones into each of Adam's boxes and bags and the pockets of his jacket and in one of his shoes. Her final gift, a dictionary of botanist terms with the cover only a little chewed, was hidden with one of her drawings in his backpack.

Adam's new residence hall was similar to the one he had before. Two beds with questionable mattresses, two beaten up desks, two tall wardrobes, a sink in one corner, and various campus maps taped to the wall next to the door. The door was labelled with a printed notice indicating that the maintenance crew would be fixing their air conditioning unit in the next few days.

"It's fine, Ronan." Adam said plainly. "I grew up without air."

Ronan swallowed the implication of the too hot nights at the double-wide he grew up in. He began hanging some of Adam's shirts in the closet while Adam unpacked a miscellaneous box.

Opening the dull curtains, Ronan exposed a view of a courtyard, not far away from a small chapel. There were a few students playing catch or lounging on wide plaid blankets, wearing sunglasses and shorts. Across a short, red-roofed building was a football field where the team was running drills. He thought briefly of Henry.

To keep busy, Ronan pulled sheets from one of the tubs and starting making the bed. He saw Adam pour in an extra dash of laundry softener when he last washed them. They smelled like nothing in particular since they had switched to an unscented soap, one that didn't dry out Opal's skin so much. Now and then, when the air was especially dry, her elbows and hands sprouted tiny red dots that she scratched at until they were blisters. 

"Shit." Adam swore. He dug through to the bottom of a box and let the contents fall back in. "I left my phone charger."

"Take mine." Ronan said immediately. "It's in the car."

"I'm not gonna take yours, you need it."

Ronan huffed and whipped out Adam's comforter. He began to secure it neatly. "Fine. You can borrow mine. Until you come home and we can trade." 

"Don't be smart with me." Adam shoved the box under his desk, wiping his palms on his hips. He looked at his pile of textbooks and sighed. "Why is yours in the car?"

"Because I forgot it there and I just use yours anyway." Ronan shrugged with a shoulder and threw a pillow on top. "Is there anything else you want me to do before I go?"

Adam looked around at the few unpacked bags and boxes. They were small enough to be handled later. "I have about twenty minutes before I meet my professor."

"Are you suggesting a quickie?" Ronan taunted, stepping closer to Adam.

"I might be. Gotta have something to remember you by."

They kissed slowly and Adam was just about to take off his belt when his phone chirped. Ronan grabbed his chin and his attention. "Leave it,"

Adam glanced at his watch, which had stopped working sometime in the last hour. Stepping out of his shoes, he fell back against his bed, pulling Ronan with him.

-

The text Adam missed was his professor, admitting a slight delay. Time was spent wiping sweat with a scratchy paper towel and reciting phone numbers from memory back and forth until they were both certain that they would be able to get ahold of each other somehow if they needed to. Then because there was little else to do, they quizzed each other on state capitals and world capitals, a category in which Adam was well prepared, and Ronan was quick to name the first city he thought of. 

They split a cold cherry soda from a vending machine down the hall and Adam wrote out an extra copy of his class schedule for Ronan to keep in his wallet. 

"I'll call you once I get my work schedule too. And I'm going to update the calendar online just in case."

"Isn't this too much? Work and school? I don't want you getting stress headaches like you did in high school."

"I'm not working thirty hours a week like I was in high school." Adam said. "This is nothing compared to what I used to do. I'll be fine."

"I know." Ronan scoffed. He didn't bother putting his shirt back on because the room was ridiculously warm.

Adam hummed and checked his phone. "I don't want you to go." He said, lying back on his pillow. He stretched an arm over his eyes and propped up a leg against the wall. His forehead was shiny with sweat, the soft hair at his temples damp.

"Someone's got to stop Opal and Blue from burning the house down. Besides, you love school." He shrugged a shoulder. 

Back in Monmouth Manufacturing, years ago, the nights before tests, Gansey and Adam sat across from each other, rewriting notes, quizzing each other, throwing anything within reach at Ronan, who never participated in their study sessions. He mocked them, often flicking cheerios in their direction so Chainsaw would fly over and jump around their books. It was hilarious until Adam opened a window and Chainsaw was more fascinated by the outdoors.

"I love things other than school." Adam bit his lip meaningfully, but Ronan wasn't looking.

Ronan shoved Adam's shoes back onto his feet and set his hands on Adam's knees. "I want you to be happy."

"But-"

"No. That's it. You worked your ass off for too long not to be here. This just isn't the place for me." 

This wasn't a surprise. Ronan hadn't met the requirements to earn his diploma. Several times, he thought about signing up for classes at a local community college - an easy one that he could convince Blue to take with him since she hadn't gone to college either. When it came to submitting the application, he chickened out and slammed the laptop closed.

Ronan's palms massaged down Adam's calf. "Call me if you need anything." He tugged   
Adam's legs apart and added seriously, "Anything."

"Promise you'll answer?"

"Fuck you."

"Yes please," Adam chuckled and Ronan pinched him. "Call me when you get home."

Ronan nodded. He slipped his hands into Adam's and kissed him. "At least get a fan so you don't sweat your balls off."

"God, you're romantic." Adam grinned against his lips. "I already texted Trent. He's bringing one."

Trent. Right. The roommate.

"If I need to kick his ass, I will."

"You won't have to. We get along."

Ronan glared at the unoccupied bed. He kicked one post of it and read a few of the messages from previous residents scratched in pen in the wood. Years of significance were noted, dates of lost virginities, names of boyfriends and girlfriends alike.

Pulling a pen from Adam's desk, Ronan bent over the edge of Adam's bed. He wrote in small letters: R+A.

Ronan recapped the pen and Adam was grabbing him and hugging him tightly. His hair went up Ronan's nose, and his ear was pressing against his chin. 

"I'm going to miss you."

"Me too, nerd."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooooo -- it's been a month. Thanks for reading


	15. Chapter 15

Blue decided in the first days after Adam went back to school that she would learn to play the ukulele. No one seemed to know where the idea came from, but she was determined. And she firmly believed that somewhere out on the Lynch property there was a hidden stash of musical instruments and that Ronan knew where they were.

He did, of course. Years ago, there was a Lynch family band of half-tuned instruments and music all night. Niall could get by on piano, but couldn't sing and play at the same time. So Aurora and Matthew sang, Declan beat drumsticks against hollow drums that glowed when struck, and Ronan had a rusty harmonica. None of them were very good, but talent wasn't required.

An off-white ukulele was in a barn, and Ronan knew right where it was. It was among the other arts buried in dust, the texture turned waxy after the demon had nearly unmade everything. He hadn't gotten to cleaning this particular barn yet, but the asleep animals inside seemed to be doing ok. 

Ronan told Blue to wait by the doors while he checked their status. It wasn't every day, but several times a month, one of the animals was actually dead - unable to be supported by Cabeswater, however weak it was. Usually there was a smell, but Ronan couldn't be too careful with scaring Blue with more death. 

When it was safe, he picked up the smooth instrument and strummed a fingernail down all the strings. Blue rubbed her palms greedily and reached for it. Ronan shoved his free hand into her shoulder and held the other behind him. She pouted.

"What do you want?"

"Set up the video calls on my computer." 

Blue lifted an eyebrow. "It's been six days since he left. He's texted Gansey every day, I can't believe he hasn't talked to you."

"I didn't say he wasn't talking to me. Sometimes I just want to see his fucking face."  
Ronan shoved a splintery wooden desk aside and rubbed his fingers to check for slivers. He crowded her space until she moved back toward the faint green glow of a light outside.

"Fine. Is Opal asleep?"

"She better be. It's nearly midnight. You're lucky I was awake."

Blue huffed. She had seen the shadows under Ronan's eyes, the mug of coffee with too much sugar in it on the table, the half-finished flower box in the kitchen. If she had been brave enough to wander the house, she guessed she would have found the bed untouched. Gansey hadn't been sleeping much lately either. 

She led the way back the house, managing to stick to the dirt path. Ronan had a laptop on a table in the living room. He brought it to her and traded her for her new instrument. She clicked a few things and typed a few things and put a headband into her hair. She clicked more and typed more and then a phone rang.

"You did make sure Adam was going to be awake, right?"

"He said he'd wake up for it if he wasn't." Ronan picked at his chapped lips, watching the black screen.

Three dots flashed across over and over again. Blue started drumming her fingers on the keyboard, waiting. Ronan picked up his overly sugared coffee and took a long drink.

There was a hum and then a moment of static and Adam's face appeared, leaning in close to his camera. His hair was wet and Trent was in the background of the view, lounging on his bed, reading a textbook.

"Blue!" Adam said, surprised. He backed away from the camera and sat down. Behind him, Trent waved and moved around, mumbling that he needed a break anyway and he'd be back in an hour.

"Adam!" She sat up straighter as if that would close the distance between them. Turning the computer to show Ronan, Adam wiggled his fingers. 

"Hi, Ronan."

Ronan was watching carefully, suspiciously, still picking at his lips. "Hey, loser."

Blue rolled her eyes and turned back to Adam. "Gansey and Henry say hi and they want to visit you. My mom says she is sending you a package of cookies."

"Oh," Adam's mouth flexed and eventually he got to a smile. "Tell her she didn't have to do that. And tell the boys they can come whenever they want. I've got plenty of floor space."

There was a beat. Blue handed the laptop to Ronan. She said, "My phone is ringing I think Gansey is wondering where I am. I'll be back."

Ronan nearly dropped the laptop while Blue hurried out to the porch. Her phone, in her hand, was dark.

Setting the computer on the table, Ronan stood in front of it and Adam smiled at him. "So you caved."

"I was just thinking about you. It's not because I missed you."

"Oh no?" Adam chuckled. He combed through his hair with his fingers and rubbed his eyes. "Already got yourself a replacement boyfriend?"

Ronan shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe I did."

"What's his name - righty or lefty?"

"Shut the fuck up." Ronan snapped while Adam laughed. "You're not funny."

"I'm hilarious and you love it."

Ronan's lips curled and he took a drink of coffee, shaking his head. "How was the first week?"

Adam grinned. "It's great. I'm in three different bio classes and an abstract math. There's a meditation class on Fridays too."

"You're turning into a hippie I swear."

"Meditation doesn't make me a hippie. Don't look at me like that. It helps to relax and lowers blood pressure."

Ronan laughed, finally sitting down into the stool. It was not the same as having Adam right in front of him, but hearing his voice was good enough. He looked the same, a little bright in the eyes for the time of night, but it could have been the reflection of the computer. Adam grabbed a sweatshirt from his nearby dresser and slipped it on.

"Did you get my letter? There was a program for the freshman to make postcards to send home. Trent and I grabbed a bunch and sold them to families before they got to the bookstore."

"You're a maniac. But no, I haven't gotten anything. Unless Opal hid it in her room. She caught a fucking rabbit and tried to keep it in her closet."

"What?"

"A rabbit. She caught it in the yard apparently."

Opal had caught it in one of the barns when she was supposed to be feeding the goats. Sometime between Ronan mowing the lawn and digging around in the garden, she carried it up to a plastic tote in her closet and managed to get a few carrots from the windowsill in the kitchen to throw in as well. If it wasn't for the smell, she could have gotten away with it.

Adam covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking. He snorted and said, "Oh my god."

"I've been telling you forever, things are different when you're not here."

"She hasn't been acting out?"

Ronan's nose wrinkled and he tipped his head. "Not other than that. She's been feeding the chickens and she got a couple cows to wake up by singing to them."

There was a pause and Adam slowly exhaled. "The animals are waking up?"

Ronan blinked at Adam's image, searching for eye contact but not quite getting it. "For a few hours at a time, then they pass out. I've been trying to get the strays back into the barns but they keep wandering off."

"Get some rope and tie them to trees."

"I tried that but Opal chews through the ropes."

Adam's shoulders slumped. "Well damn."

Ronan shifted in his chair. He glanced at Blue standing on the porch, talking inaudibly. "I don't want to keep you up if you have early classes."

"I don't. Is this ok?"

"What? Talking to you?"

Adam's mouth quirked. "Video chat. Are you ok with it?"

Ronan's eyes flicked to each of the corners of the screen. "For now." He flashed his teeth and Adam grinned.

"Next step is getting you a snapchat." 

"False."

No matter how much his friends pressed him, Ronan refused to subscribe to any social media. Unsurprising, but it didn't stop them from trying. Sometimes Adam would lay for hours in Ronan's lap and scroll through posts to show him what Matthew and Declan were up to, where Gansey and Blue and Henry decided to travel to when they took off in the middle of the night, what Calla was baking. Ronan watched curiously, asking Adam to slow down now and then. Beyond that, he showed no interest in an account for himself.

"Worth a shot." Adam said. He yawned.

"If you've got homework, go fucking do it before you pass out. I'm not important."

Adam's mouth dropped. "It can wait until tomorrow."

"But-"

"You're important too." Adam interrupted fiercely.

Blue's armed landed around Ronan's neck and she squished her face next to his. "Yeah."

"Ugh, get off me, maggot." Instead of letting go, she kissed his cheek and he scowled.

Adam pressed a button on his keyboard to screenshot the moment. It would be distributed via email to Gansey within an hour, which would lead to Gansey calling and talking for nearly two hours. 

Now and then, Gansey did that. He couldn't maintain a sleep schedule and breaking the dependency on Ronan during those times was impossible. Too much history was shared that they couldn't help but think of each other when insomnia got the best of them. 

Adam made a schedule. They would video chat once a week, on Thursdays after dinner so Opal could participate. It was unfair, Adam noted, that he had it figured out when she was conveniently asleep. There was a brief back and forth about selfishness which ultimately had Ronan admitting that he missed Adam more than he wanted to say.

"We'll still talk, and I'll write letters,"

"Is this the 1700s, Parrish?" Blue snorted from the couch at that. She was politely ignoring their conversation in favor of plucking strings of her ukulele, trying to figure out some chords.

"Yes it is. The wagon train better come pick me up in October."

"I hope you don't die of consumption before then."

"That was a serious problem. But I hope you don't die of that either. Or the plague."

"Good lord, the plague. Wash your hands." Ronan chuckled and watched Adam yawn again. "Go to bed."

"I will. I-" Adam shook his head and shuffled some papers on his desk. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Ok." Ronan paused. "I don't know how to stop this." He clicked a few wrong places on the screen and huffed. Blue approached him and said her goodbyes and closed the laptop.

Ronan took a long breath and rubbed his palms over his knees. 

She put an arm over his shoulders and pulled his head into her side. He didn't resist, even when her hand smoothed over his short hair and held him for a moment.

This was rare.

But neither of them commented on it, shortly after they parted. Comforting touch was new between them.

Walking her to the door, Ronan switched on the lights. She didn't have much to say and he was suddenly ready to bury himself in a pile of blankets, knowing that he wouldn't be able to slow his heart rate soon enough. She slapped his back and drew him in for a final hug because she could.

"Go to bed, you."

"Thanks, maggot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this really 75% done? I can't believe it. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Updates will be irregular - 5 ways per chapter - I have tumblr [here](http://knightotter.tumblr.com/) and the list is [here](http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)


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